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Would you allow your son or daughter’s girlfriend or boyfriend to sleepover?

by Vee (follow)
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I have been meaning to ask this question for some time. Prompted by today’s episode of ‘The Project’, I decided that today is the day I put this to you.

Figures show that adolescents are becoming sexually active quite young, with some losing their virginity while in the seventh grade. At that age, I was far too self-conscious about my developing body to even consider sharing it with another person. Who am I kidding? I was far too concerned about fitting in, or what song was on the radio, to even notice boys existed.

In any case, some argue that parents should allow sleepovers because, if their children decide to be intimate with others, they should at least do it in a safe and secure space.

What are your thoughts on this matter? Would you allow your child to have their girlfriend or boyfriend over for a sleep over? At what age might this be appropriate?

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Top Answers
Frankly no. My mom let my boyfriend stay over a few times, and whilst he intially slept on the settee, and I in my room, soon he was allowed to stay in my room, and whilst I wouldn't disrespect my mom by 'doing' anything, we were certainly tempted!

Trust is a beautiful thing between the parent (s) and child, and whilst my mom trusted me, I know others would take advantage, and you'd hate to tarnish the trust relationship. I say, allow the bf/gf to come over, let them chill together, but that's it.
Seventh grade.....that is a scary notion. I'd not be encouraging my kids to be starting so young, and I'd like to be educating them on the value of being in a relationship and (hopefully) holding on until they are somewhat older than seventh grade. Once they are much older, I imagine that this would be something that would be up for discussion. I have to agree that I'd be putting safety first but ideally, they'd be much older before this even comes up.
I would never allow my kids to do that.
No. These days, the actual affair could be over in a fortnight, a month or a year. You just can't keep accommodating you son's or daughter's lovers. Neighbours might think you are running a knock shop.
Interesting insights. Thanks for sharing.
by Vee
That's a very valid point.
by Rice
Yeah - not sure about this one. However I prefer safety that non-safety! I guess I have to approach this concept if it happens. Currently my girls are still little!
I know. My son is still little too. I suppose we shall cross that bridge when we get there.
by Vee
Yes I would as rather they are at my place than in the car or elsewhere.
I think it is appropriate after about 17, though it is not something that happened to me when I had teenagers -I think they would have felt a bit embarrassed and they didnt have steady boyfriends till they were a bit older anyway.

I would not like it if it was not someone they had been going out with for a few months or so.
by Finy

by Vee
With your closing point. I'm still undecided about sleepovers, even if they are over seventeen.
by Vee
Vee -I was single at that stage of my life and I eventually let a guy stay over who I had been going out with for a while, so I don't consider that I could put other values on my children!
But I would rather know they are safe in my own house than elsewhere so cannot see what is wrong with it!
The next morning they could be embarrassed anyway!
by Finy
I imagine they would be embarrassed hehe. I wasn't allowed to have my boyfriend sleep over, so it wouldn't be a double standard with me. I do agree that it would be safer for them to 'sleep' over at home than 'sleep' elsewhere though.
by Vee
I don't like the idea.

'If' it were to happen....only would I allow it once they were Adults.Even then, I'm not keen.
I'm very glad that I'm a few yaers off having to worry about this one. I suppose it depends on a lot of things.
I wouldn't allow it. I do all the laundry in my house and I wouldn't fancy operating that laundry like an hotel laundry. Also, with my luck the daughter might have a new beau in the next couple of weeks and it starts all over again. I would never have been allowed to do the boy/girl friend stay over thing and I wouldn't have had the boyfriend sleep over anyhow - it is disrespectful to parents and I think -
totally embarrassing.
by fran.
MMm , my child is now an adult but when she was younger I would not allow a boyfriend to sleep over. I think it is a shaky argument to say because children are doing it anyway you should provide a safe place.
I think it is important to have a dialogue about the pros and cons of early sexual experience. It is also important to remember that just because their bodies are able to have sex it doesn't mean they have the emotional maturity to handle that kind of relationship. Boundaries are important, they keep children safe as they explore and grow.
And a good talk about contraception and the cost of bringing a baby into the world and the length of time a mother and father need to support that child - they are little talks that need to be had too.
by fran.
If under age, definitely not. Once 18, adult, would have to accept what son or daughter wanted to 'do' with relevant girlfriend or boyfriend.

Don't have to agree with it, though. I'm very old fashioned & believe in 'waiting' until married. Speaking of which, back in the day, a white wedding dress was worn to symbolise 'purity'. Nowadays, brides' still wear white with protruding pregnant belly! Those 'types' used to wear pastel coloured gowns!

The world's a changing place in many ways, & not necessarily for the better!

Now this all depends on the context of "boyfriend"/"girlfriend". I'm taking the friendship side and not the going out together side. When my daughters were in high school we did allow sleepovers both in our house and in the other parents houses because we knew the families involved and the kids were nothing more than goid friends.
Well if my children were married, and if I had become single again, I wouldn't take my date, boyfriend, escort over to their place and expect to sleep with him. I don't think my children would appreciate it. Don't know why they wouldn't appreciate it.....but I bet I'm correct.
We did let our daughter's 1st real b/f move in! He even bought done his double bed! He stayed a few years, then he proposed to her, but she turned him town, because she wanted to go o/s. He just wanted to get married & have kids! They were about 20 when they split up.
by Miro
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