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What's the best way to deal with a tantrum?

by Vee (follow)
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Toddler tantrum
'Toddler tantrum' by VanessaQ

I cannot escape my fate: my son will eventually get to this stage, so I'm doing my best to prepare for it now. What is the best way to deal with and/or diffuse a toddler temper tantrum?

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If my kids threw a tantrum it was lift, carry out, in the car and home. It was so quick that even the kids were startled. I have heard of throwing a tantrum with them, but unfortunately I never did this. Although the idea is intriguing. Might do that next time I see a kid throwing a tantrum, and see what happens. LOL
That is hilarious. I saw a child throwing a tantrum yesterday and an elderly lady yelled 'hey', but he didn't seem to notice. I wonder what the parents of the child would do if someone decided to throw a tantrum alongside their little grouch.
by Vee
As long as they are safe from harm, just let them do it. They will soon learn that it isn't worth doing if it doesn't get attention.
It depends on where you are ... if you are at home, then put him in a separate room and let him scream it out. The less attention you give him, the better. Otherwise he will learn that when he screams he gets attention.

If you are out and about and he has a meltdown, the best thing is to just pick him up and remove him from the situation. Do not make eye contact with him or try to reason with him. Take him to the car and let him sit there until he calms down. And yes you may have to abandon your trolley half way through shopping, but the sooner your to toddler learns that he is not going to get attention when he has a tantrum, the sooner the tantrums will ease or stop.

Give him plenty of attention when he is being a good boy.
Thanks Ivana. That sound doable.
by Vee
O.K. well I have been 'mothering' and grandmother 37 years.

My advice, Never ever let it happen.

Now you may be saying 'Oh yeah right'!
Non of my boys were (allowed) to throw one in public.

If it looked like one could happen, the child was instantly removed from the area, put into the car and driven home.
Very very firmly, I would say:''You will not return today', to the shopping centre''.That tells the child they will 'miss-out', even though they may not really have wanted to go..lol :) The thought of not getting something, is a great tool with children.....
I would also say to my boys:
''If you ever do it again'', the same thing will happen, and you will return home, and go in your room.
I tyred it again, and again till I won!
You have to WIN every single time.No matter how badly you needed milk or bread ..... you have to do this until your child is able to ''play nice''.
Parents become 'victims'.
When I was a child 60 years ago, one would never see a child have a tantrum.

So take heart, your the parent and you deserve peace, when shopping.
It may sound like hard work, but well well worth it, stop it the very first time it happens, and It WILL stop believe me.

Simply put it is a 'chess game', and you have to 'check-mate' every single time.
That is the key to bringing up children, they Must know who is in charge.
When it happens, they know they are safe, and looked after.A child left to have that tantrum feels helpless,while it is happening, in public and really quite cruel for the child.
Bad parenting is to let the child sit, scream and feel isolated, with strangers all around.
I shake my head when seeing parents do this.

Pick the little one up, and take in a gentle way to the car, not an angry way.
That will only bring fear to the child, and they deserve to feel loved and safe.
But! they also need to know who is calling the shots!

Oh! by the way....wait till they get in their 30's and still have a tantrum!
That's a lot of fun toooooooo (not).LOL

Hahaha. Thanks a lot for that jonaj. I will certainly endeavour to ensure he knows who is boss.
by Vee
Prevention is the best answer. Don't go out when you know they are tired, hungry or sick. Be consistent with what you say. If kids know that no means no then they accept it without much fuss but if they think a tantrum will get them what they want then tantrum they will.

Leave child, & walk away! Quickest way to bring them to their senses!
Correct it immediately rather than just ignore it and it becomes a regular event.
Tell the child to stop it and take it somewhere quiet to reinforce your stern comments.
If need be threaten to remove a privilege that the child enjoys (and do it if the child continues the tantrum).
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