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What do you do if visitors outstay their welcome?

by Finy (follow)
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Life (383)      Etiquette (55)      Manners (26)      Visitors (8)     

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Have you ever had visitors and they just would not leave?

What do you do when you have had enough, and want the visitors to leave?

Do you just put up with it or do you say something that will make them leave?

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Top Answers
I just put up with it though I have real problems staying awake!
I often wonder why people cannot see that another person is tired.

I also feel that, living alone, tends for me, to breed "wanting to be alone".
I cannot handle a lot of people any more, and although i love my friends and family, after a few hours, I am always happy to be alone again.

I wonder if others living alone feel this?
by Finy

by lynne
I have been known to put up with it I'm afraid. I have heard that in Chinese culture, when they bring out the oranges it is a signal that the host is ready for the guests to leave and everybody knows about it so the guests have their oranges and take their leave. I wish we had something like that in Western culture!

What a good idea!
by Finy
That's clever. They get the hint, but they also get an orange to soften the blow.
Yeah, it's the ultimate in politeness while getting your point across!
Sadly, I become passive aggressive
That happens.It's part of being a host.I have learnt to be able to be nice and understand it's part of having someone at your place.

Honestly if its friends the more time they are home, the more fun it is.
We don't ask them to leave, but I do find myself yawning profusely.
by Vee
Good question! I've had it when guests are staying for an extended period (albeit one that has an end date) and found it to get a bit too much, but at the end of the day, I suck it up and remember that at some stage I must have invited these people to stay and it is only for a finite period of time. I think that unfortunately you can have 'too much' of people and after a while you need you own space back. I do a lot of biting my tongue and try to find a few ways that we can each have our own space and time out.
I have had three friends stay over.
I dislike it...because I really like my own space.That was 22 years ago.
Even if I had a bigger house, I wouldn't encourage it.
It may sound strange, but even having someone come for lunch is such a big effort.
I really am very territorial...No idea how I ever got that way!....but the less people around me at home, the better.

My sons are different.
They are welcome any time, with their little family.
Is that called "territorial".....it sounds like me but I thought it is because being alone a lot, makes you like this!
by Finy
For me I have had a kid at home for the last 37 years.The last one left at 17, but I had a 3 yr old by then.(My last child).
Soooo I guess, because I have been on-call as a mother for 24 hrs a day for 37 years, maybe I'm just feeling, I love the time alone...lol...lol...lol.

I think I have worked it out :)
by jonaja
I just let them know that this old girl needs her beauty sleep.
Thank them for a great evening see them to the door.
It seems to work because they come back again!
"Would you like a cup of tea before you go?". Is usually enough for guests to take the hint.

If they're staying for days, then a timeline is agreed upon beforehand
This is one situation where having a serious illness is actually beneficial!!! I can honestly say that I am beyond it all for the time being,and ask my guests to please give me my space!!! My visitors are ALWAYS dear friends anyway, so they understand my situation perfectly and are very sweet and honestly compassionate to my situation.
I never know what to do - but I'm sure we are all guilty of out staying our welcome so I don't mind it too much if someone does it to me
by AJ
Only have had visitors' stay during Expo88. They were only here for a few days' as they going on a train trip. So didn't have that problem.

But IF folk were coming to stay, they would've been made aware of when they had to leave, & that no extension was possible!
I have sleep apnea so often get to the stage where I just cannot keep my eyes open. I have had to, on occasions, just say I can't keep awake and get up and go to bed. There is absolutely nothing I can do to keep awake so thankfully people who understand what its like to live with it don't take offence.
I never say anything, I'm hopeless, I just keeping making pots of tea in the hope they will get waterlogged and leave. *sigh*
by Rice
That's ok, we don't have any visitors. Suits us down to a 'T'. Just the thought of having visitors, would make me very nervous!
by Miro
Start clearing away the dishes!
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