Exercise (for me running) can help because it burns off a bit of adreneline. Also putting on some loud music and shouting tunelessly along to it works for me sometimes. If I can't do that I try and take a few deep breaths and count to ten.
I find that if I'm angry with someone I write them a letter expressing everything I need to say. I don't necessarily send the letter, but it feels good to get it all out instead of bottling it all up inside. Perhaps keep a diary or journal and unleash your fury through writing. It works for me!
Go for a walk to cool down, try to get another perspective on things. Usually, I realise that it wasn't really that bad after all, or even if it was that bad, me being in a bad mood won't help the situation.
One Very GOOD solution is to: quickly Remove Yourself, from what has made you angry!
Take a deep breath, and very very slowly count to 10.
Close your eyes, and stand or sit still for at least 5 mins....thinking of nothing if at all possible, just tell yourself you Must do it.
The worst thing to do, is the fly-off-the-handle, when upset because we all say and do things that later we will regret.
I have, and after a long time have found out the above is the best, for everyone concerned.
Anger is one letter away from D anger.
do nothing until you have a good sleep first then weight it all up and decide how healthy the relationship with that person could or couldn't be then either leave or stay (if you stay then you value that person faults and all.) After all nobody is perfect. Point out how hurt you are tho. in a nice way if poss.
I find I have alot of trouble with my anger management. I don't like confrontations with people, especially family members and I tend to shut down emotionally and just want to be on my own. I keep things to myself most of the time which I know is detrimental to my own health, but I just find it hard expressing my feelings until it's too late and something pushes me over the edge (usually my kids!!) and I just explode. Then when I do eventually "share" my emotions (usually in a very loud and angry voice), I'm told to pull my head in, so it just goes round and round in a vicious circle. I've tried countless counselling sessions to get past it, but it's easy for a counseller to say just say what I'm feeling, but I find I can't because I'm afraid how that particular person is going to react to my feelings, so I prefer to keep them to myself and then just go over and over them in my head, which I know is the worst thing I can do, but I just can't seem to get past this. So I find being by myself is the best way to handle my anger until I calm down. Mandy E.
Yes, I used to be a lot like that. One of my relatives is the same. He was asked to go on an anger management course. He would not say anything when somebody criticised him unfairly, then it would all build up, and six months later he would blow up about it. I always thought he was very laid back, but now I realise that he can't cope with conflict, so he avoids saying anything. That's not healthy though. I try to respond to people when it happens. Say something like " when you said X, that hurt my feelings, because I feel it's not a fair criticism". That at least better than blowing up and calling the person all sorts of names, which is what happens when we lash out. But I think it's easier to let some things go. I have reached the stage of life when I want to stand up for ,myself, but not everyone appreciates this.
A punching bag is really good. You burn up the rage and you develop a nice set of biceps and shoulders.
Then I would suggest that you practice expressing how you feel rather than letting things build until you eventually erupt like a volcano. If we have an intense response to something it is usually because we have let things build up, or it is related to something else that we haven't resolved. Anger is an important part of our emotional tool kit, we just need to learn to express it in a timely and appropriate way.
If you have room in your life for a pet, caring for it will take your mind off you. Stroking it and talking to it about the things that make you mad will settle you. Dogs understand and will walk with you.