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How do you get over the loss of a loved one?

by Justine Crowley (follow)
Independent Business Consultant, Doctor, HubGarden Editor and Author/Publisher of four self help books: www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JustineCrowley
Life (383)      Grieving (1)     

dealing with the loss of a loved one
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles / www.freedigitalphotos.net Two sad women grieving over a lost loved one

It is sad to lose a loved one, be it your mum, partner, and/or a close friend and family member. I know, as I've personally lost all of the above in my life in the past. There is always that natural grieving process that takes place. How do you cope with this? Tears? Take time off work? Go on a holiday to get away from it all? Seek out support and/or counselling? Other healing support?


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Time is the best healer. It is always very painful to lose a loved one, but if you allow yourself to grieve, over time that pain reduces. When my grandmother died, I found comfort from the love of the rest of my family, who were grieving too. We supported each other, and that made things easier. As an emotional outlet, I wrote poetry. But the best medicine for me was to just remember the good times. The memories I have of spending time with my grandmother always bring a smile to my face and make me laugh. I also know that she is still with me in spirit.
There is really only one way: time. Everything else is okay. It is okay to let your true emotions and feelings show for these people, and even if it was your own pet that you were so attached to, you'd do the same.

Some much needed time out for healing is fantastic. Definitely take a bit of time out.
Agree with both justine and bryony - only time can heal. Having good friends around help a lot too. Try to go out more and do something, keep yourself busy.
There is no answer to this question, that will suit everyone.

First you have to look at your rawness.In other words 'how are you coping''.
If you are not...ask yourself 'what would help me right now at this time''

If it is working to keep going...or take a trip....stay home and weep...be with family...Only YOU can ever answer this question, because this is YOUR Grief.

Only you know what would help...Not to make you feel better, because it is not about that.

Grief must be allowed to take it's natural course.

So work out how you are feeling straight away, and if possible do what will help...If not possible for your choice to put into place right now, chose the next thing that could be of some help.

NEVER ever listen to anyone who tells you ''You Must Be Strong''!

That is the worse thing to be told.

If you have young children, just be careful of them....as they too are in this.
If you need to cry, then do it.
There are NO rules to going through grief.(as long as you do not become unbalanced).If you feel you can not go on, then you must go to see your Doctor.
Good advice jonaj. What a beautiful picture you have used to illustrate your words.
by norma
: ) thank you
by jonaja
No, never. Time may slowly heal the worst of it, but I think it's just our human nature to continue to miss a loved one. My Mum died 42 years' ago. I miss her each & every day still. She was such a good, huge influence on my life.

And that also goes for passed animals. How can one forget unconditional love?
I have found it extremely difficult emotionally since my husband died two years ago. Day to day life is no problem, but the emotional side is very hard. We were married for 50 years and had known each other since we were teenagers. I miss him and his very acute sense of humour every day. I think each person grieves in their own way. I had never been an exercise person before my husband died but, for some reason, started walking every day to just think, and that has become a regular habit with me walking 6-10 kms daily. I still walk to think but actually enjoy walking now, which is an added bonus, along with a 17 kg weight loss in the first six months after my husband died.However, nothing will ever replace his presence for me.
You're quite right when you say 'nothing will replace'.
How hard life can be.
by jonaja
Thanks jonaj - appreciate your kind words.
by norma
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