Does it bother you if a friend cancels arrangements?

this happened to me today and it really annoys me!

If i make an arrangement, unless I am sick, I do not cancel it.

I hate it even more when I get an email saying "change of plans -can I take a rain check for today".

I think this is incredibly rude, and obviously something better came up, but it is so annoying when I have arrangements and all geared up for them, and the other person cancels.

Fortunately it does not happen often -it also happens a lot in the voluntary job I go to -people just cancel a shift with no thought as to how the shop is going to stay open because they find something better to do!

That makes me even more annoyed.

by Finy

Finy, I agree with you and all too often. It's my biggest pet peeve ever. So much so that over decades of accepting excuses, which you find aren't legit. I've all but given up in disgust because it seems that people these days just don't care while others take it as being the "norm".it happens to me all the time so I've given up. Yes life and death moments do happen. A few years ago after Christmas and had moved into my new house I decided to ask some people over to a bbq. 12 or 14 in all. I had bought a new bbq, and being single too, I bought heaps of food to bbq and prepared lots. I went all out. People said they were coming . 3 lived 4 doors away. I rang to say we were about to eat. They said they'd be there in 6 mins. The long and short of it was we waited and waited for them plus 5 others. They didn't turn up with no calls. Imagine how much food was over!?! It happens all the time to me. I go alone to things/events and have a blast. Those who have declined going with me often ask me ..how was such and such? I tell them and then they say, :-( Now I wish I had gone! Too late they missed out.
It's very disappointing and frustrating but life goes on doesn't it?

As long as there is a genuine reason,such as illness,and I am notified,I do not get annoyed.I would never let a friend down if plans have been made,unless I wass so ill that I could not move!! I tend to expect the same behaviour and show of respect,as I exercise myself!!

by Jules

No I'm fine....I would like a reason, but have found that something personal is going on.It's not my place to pry.
I have been in the same position.....so I fully understand.
It's not about us, as we often tend to think.

by jonaja

If it's last minute and there isn't a good reason, then yes, but being a mum with lots of friends who also have young kids it often happens that at the last minute someone is sick or something and you have to change plans so I'm pretty used to that.

by Jennifer Muirhead

If they don't give a reason, then yes, but f they have a reason, then it is fine.

by Bryony Harrison

If it's at the last minute that they cancel and they offer no reason, then I'd be annoyed - what's even worse is if they don't let you know all together! That happened to me earlier this year. I had gotten ready and started driving over to person's house. Called them while driving - perhaps I shouldn't have - but they did not answer. Ten minutes into my drive I receive a text, 'Sorry, forgot we're having a family thing.' You can imagine, I was not impressed. Otherwise, I find I don't get excited very easily, so no harm done.

by Vee

As long as it's given a valid reason and not too short a notice then I'm fine with it because things come up!

by kit.m

Unless a death in their family or a genuine disaster...YES IT BOTHERS ME A LOT...I presume you are talking last minute, if they give you a week's notice it is not so bad but I keep a diary and have plenty on as work part time and do have a social life as well

by fran

No doesn't bother me, wouldn't hold something petty like that against a friend.

by Maria

I don't mind if some cancels as long as it's a genuine reason - unexpected things can happen. I understand when people need to change plans.

by AJ

Only bothers me if they have accepted a "better" invite or it is not a genuine excuse. No reason would bother me. Sometimes people ask for a rain check and i have had to do that on occasion.Most of my friends these days don't let me down thank goodness, but many years ago a friend did not turn up for dinner and not call either, needless to say no longer FRIEND! I don't cancel unless it is extremely serious and I try to give plenty of notice.

by brigi

Bothers me greatly. Have lost supposed 'friends' over their xxlng an arrangement. IMO, the 'excuses' we're pretty poor.

Unless it's a reasonable excuse, get pretty miffed, especially at the 'last minute'.

May not be true, but sometimes believe 'a better offer' has been received, so I get bumped!
Plain bad manners', in most instances.

by donjo

My friends don't do that. If they cancel, it is because there is a good reason. If there was someone who dumped me because something better came along- I would know not to ask them again, but it has not happened.

by annfi

I have a friend who has mental health problems and I understand that some days she just cannot do it. I don't get annoyed, I have been in the same position in the past.

by annfi

I have a friend who has mental health problems and I understand that some days she just cannot do it. I don't get annoyed, I have been in the same position in the past.

by annfi

No, I don't mind at all. We just make another coffee or lunch date. Simple. They don't cancel for no reason!

by Miro

It doesn't bother me at all. I know that they have a genuine reason, so who am I to force them to come if someone has suddenly become sick? I know that I only cancel if it is a real crisis. Most of my friends have children, so you have to be a bit flexible. Sometimes they get called in to work at the last minute, or they may be going away on holidays . I trust my friends that their excuses are genuine, so we usually make arrangements for another day. If they had to cancel a second or third time, I would begin to wonder what's going on. People only cancel on the rare occasion with me, so I am happy to be flexible.

by Lluxi