I think it's important to speak up. When someone tells a sexist or misogynist joke (for example) and nobody calls them on it and says it isn't funny their silence can be read as approval so saying nothing contributes to rape culture. People need to know that comments like that are not okay, and that the attitude behind them is not okay.
That being said, there have definitely been plenty of occasions when I have been too shocked in the moment to know what to say or too shy. It's something I'm working on.
Observations tell me the people who tell theses jokes, have agenda's.
Humiliation in this situation, is not helpful. Simply because some of the people who tell these jokes, have a brain that is impenetrable to the feelings of those in the joke!
After a joke like that is told, I smile slightly at that person and say''You find that funny''....normally they say ''don't tell me you don't?"
At which I then turn my slight smile to a deathly stare looking them right in the eye, and walk away. Not saying a word to them.
If they call out to me, or try to embarrass me...I keep on walking.
You can never show any weakness to this kind of person...or back down.
No matter how much they call out at you, or whatever they say.
I have often found they are in some cases 'bullies too'.
This action is very useful, I have not given a tongue lashing to that person...for being so offensive, but by asking if they think it was funny.. means they are left with a question of their actions.No more conversation.The silence from me is enough to get that person's attention.For the better we would hope.
Sadly, they always seem to find another to try out their bitter humour on.
I have noted the lack of homophobic jokes from a neighbour, both of whose children are gay. But as for racist jokes........What if they had partnered with someone from a very different culture? Now there's something to ponder.
I simply point out in a non-confrontational tone that they are being racist, or sexist or homophobic, it's up to them what they do with that comment but I feel better for saying it. Ignorance is silent complicity.
Well Donjo, I absolutely loved Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. Particularly Dudley, whom I found to be a very deep (and somewhat pathetic) but very, very interesting person. He has had so much written about him. I loved his music as well. But, they were both very, very cheeky, rude people. I mean, very. But I loved their work. Misogynist side of Peter Cook was a little hard to handle.
But I haven't answered the question - yes I do speak up but mostly when it is a male, snickering about females.
Hi Fran!.......Pete & Dud were genius. He at writing, & Dud at Jazz Piano. I saw him on stage, he read a letter from Pete, who had recently died, & the audience was in tears. It was at this Recital that he noticed a problem with his L little finger, whilst playing the piano. It was the start of the brain disease that was to kill him, sadly.
Do you remember the sketch, 'The Glid of Glude'? It was classic!
I saw Shaun Micallef on stage as Pete; a very good impersonation. Do read Pete's autobiography. It's very sad, as he'd many problems. Most persons' of genius do, unfortunately. Cheers!
When someone says something or does something that offends you, it's always the right answer to speak up. Racism, sexism, and homophobia are things that are offensive to most people, so if it offends you, then speak up!