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Can you have a career & a happy family life with young children?

by Finy (follow)
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Many mothers have to go to work nowadays to make ends meet.

Do you think it is possible to have a career, young children, and a happy family life?

#Family Life
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Top Answers
I do not think it is the best of situations if you have a very active job with long hours.
You come home possibly more grumpy and tired than you would be if with your children, and I think the idea of putting very young children in day care is awful.

Guess I am old fashioned but I believe that if you cannot stay home for a few years, you are not ready for children -I know in this day and age it is more difficult due to money shortages, however I do not like the idea of combining a highly successful, highflyer type job and children while they are young.
by Finy
I'm old school.
I like Mum's if possible to be with the children, and I know kids would prefer that.
That's just me.
I feel sad for little ones away from their Mum, so unless it is so important (as in money)...I think the children need to come first.
Nothing is better than Mum around....My Mother had to work in the 1950's, and when she was gone, I was very unhappy.
Totally agree
by Gia
Yes, I do, but I suspect you get very tired, making sure it all balances. I remember doing the washing at 10.30 at night and wondering when I got 'my' time....
The solution to this issue can be found if we choose to revert back to tribal living. Now before you can this idea just consider how well it worked in the past and why and by whom we have been tricked into giving it up. The three generations that make up our families now require 3 blocks of land and the associated taxes plus 3 homes and the mortgages that go with them. Three generations often own 6 cars 6 televisions etc. Consumer spending gone mad. The banking industry loves every bit of this massive waste. Now mum must work to pay the banks back and dad has no time to enjoy his own family.
The government planning office is contributing to this issue by controlling house designs so that they work best for 1 family unit per house.
Designing homes that allow 3 generations to function on one land title will reduce debit quickly and this will reduce the need for parents to work 10 hour days and 7 days weeks. The inheritance will go to the next generation instead of the age care home and the community will reduce debit and improve the quality child care. This is not promoted because corporate interests have identified profits that can be made by separating generations. Privacy issues can be designed into the homes that would make it no different from any other form of high density living. Families say they love each other so why not prove it and solve a host of problems at the same time. [email protected]

Mothers working isn't new. Working class women have always worked. The difference nowadays would be that it's no longer possible for most women to take their kids to work with them or work from home.

Yes, it's definitely possible. A family doesn't have to have a mother staying at home to be happy. Some are happy with a stay at home Dad and some with two working parents, or one working single parent. There are a lot of other factors that go into determining whether a family is happy or not.
I say this as a stay at home mum, so I'm not working away from my kids, but my husband is and he is happy enough.
'Working class women'.........stereotyping somewhat, IMO.
by donjo
I'm talking about history here. If you go back a couple of centuries in many countries women in the upper classes (the aristocracy, the women who sit around with little to do or think about but marriage in regency novels) did not work (and in many cases weren't even allowed to) but working class women (farmers, merchants, factory workers...) did. That's a fact, so I'm not sure what you could find in it to take offense at.
.......'offenCe'........is the noun!

As I said, IMO, that 'phrase' is a very 'put down' one for women, of any time period, or their actually age.

I'm very well are of what you spoke.

My education was excellent, as I was fortunate enough to attend a Private School, from Grade's I to XII, & I observed, very well, what life was like, in general, growing up!

Not only did my Mother work full-time when I was a child, but so did I.
Neither generation was at a disadvantage, because of that!

by donjo
Donjo, you often complain if someone corrects something in a comment you made with words to the effect that it was just a comment so you didn't spend that much time on it, and telling them how annoying you find this, so maybe you could lay off pointing out every typo anybody else happens to make. I wasn't talking about one or two generations back, nor about your or your family's education. I said "a couple of centuries".
It's tough to balance family and career but I think it is possible.
Yes, it is possible; it's not easy getting the balance right, but it is definitely possible.
I guess everybody's situation...and personality, is different. What works for one person (parent and / or child) won't necessarily works for others. However, I think that in Western society we value money and fancy possessions (houses, cars, etc) to such a degree that sometimes relationships are sacrificed in the process. While having a satisfying, or even prestigious, career is nice, there is SO much more to life. Children are only little for a few short years and it's nice to make the time to be with them and share their lives while you can.

Of course, in some situations families need to work hard just to make ends meet, but if somebody has a well-paid career, often part-time work is a good compromise.
I don't know yet, but I'll be back.
by Vee
Of course a career can be mixed with parenthood!!! I was extremely fortunate that I had a trade which fitted in with being a mother VERY well indeed! I was a sign writer,and used to take my son with me from job to job,and he would happily sit in his stroller,watching me as I painted signs on shop windows! Ah!! how simple life was back then,and so much fun!
Well qualified to answer this having brought up my son on my own and worked......NO NO NO...menial job with regular hours or part time only.
by Fran
I hope it is possible!
by AJ
I think Carolyn got it spit on, kids are only little for a short time and the
more we can be with them the better. Of course, these days many of us have to work, but if we can work out ways to spend more time at home and stretch the money further then it is all the better for us and our children.

I've just switched from having an extremely full on full time job to one I can do from home to put my family priorities first. it is starting to work well and feels good. makes me wonder what i missed out on being stuck in the office all day and often for parts of the evening.
I use to work long hours outside the home. I quit and have committed myself to maintaining my household (Husband and two young children) Best decision I ever made.
by Gia
I have to say that it IS possible,as I managed it very easily,having chosen a career which I could carry out at home,or I often could take my son with me to various jobs which he absolutely adored as a tot!!! I trained as a Sign Writer back in the days when we would go around painting all the weekly specials on butcher shop windows! It was such a lot of fun and having the opportunity to have my son with me,was the bonus I had imagined it would be when I did my initial apprenticeship in my late teens! Lots of other jobs I had,were carried out at home ,so I could do them when my son was having his afternoon nap! It was all about time management,which fortunately I had been taught as a child at home by my parents. I believe that there are many careers which do not interfere with motherhood,and most of these are very creative as well as enjoyable and profitable! My son turned out a real treat,even though it was single parent home most of the time;so there is the proof of this particular pudding!!(by the way he is a chef!!!).
Very well said and explained. I think we have become very materialistic and want want want. Keep up with the JONESES! Bigger Homes, more more more. It is nice for a parent to be home with young children, Child care just means someone else is teaching your child their values and bringing them up etc. Why have children if you cannot look after them? Of course certain circumstances changes the rules, but family is more important than belongings and long hours at work!
by brigi
Yes of course its possible, but like anything with a young family it takes lots of coordination and organising. I read an article recently that it is actually better for women to work while their children are young if they need to and ensure they have more time when they are adolescents given the pressures on young peoples these days and the value of adult guidance, presence and supervision at that time. Not withstanding the need to be very present when children are young I think its possible to work too and pursue your career, again it just takes lots of good coordination, scheduling and where necessary putting your family first when those decisions are required. I've lived it and it is possible.
My "career" is my family. The thing that I do for money is my job. I have a job (which most people would call a career because it is of a professional nature) because my career (my family) needs the money to survive. If it didn't, I wouldn't bother with a job until I had spare time on my hands.
by kimp
Yes, I do.

My kids' had FDC 'Mum's', who were just marvellous, as I worked full time, to help financially.

As they had socialised with other children from a young age, their interpersonal skills were very good, which, of course, helped when starting School.

I was in a state of shock my first day at School, as at that time, Kindy didn't exist, so my first few weeks' weren't the best, having been at home with my Mum only.

I was determined my children never felt like that, & they didn't.

They're now both in excellent careers, & have great personalities!
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