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Can guys and girls be 'just friends'?

by Vee (follow)
Relationships (205)      Love (84)      Friends (64)     

Couple in the park matthew_hull
'Couple in the park' by matthew_hull

I have spent much time wondering whether guys and girls can be 'just friends'. I think it certainly depends on the individuals involved but, generally speaking, I tend to disagree.

What do you think?

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Yes. I have tons of guy friends. In fact more than the girls I know. Guys are easy to be with because you don't have to dress to impress. They just accept you for you!
Yes they can. There is always a possibility of attraction or infatuation creeping in but you have to decide whether you want to keep it at friendship or take it further. As a friend you need to respect the other's decision. Otherwise you will lose a friend too.
Don't know but I think once on partner gets married or emotionally involved with someone, then the other half would become jealous or suspicious. I am not saying that that is particularly normal………..but I suspect it would be occurring more often than not.
Of course they can! I have male friends. Certainly sometimes people find that friendship can grow into love, or crushes can develop, but that's not always the case. And where there are crushes you can move past them and stay friends anyway. If you think that people cannot ever be "just friends" with someone they might potentially be attracted to then do you believe that bisexual people can't have any friends?
Of course I believe that bisexual people can have friends. I was just putting it out there. That, and 'just friends' hasn't worked so well for me (or others) in the past.
by Vee
I didn't really mean you, sorry. I was asking that of anyone (hypothetically) who thinks men and women can't EVER be just friends.
No worries Jennifer, I should've known. Note to self: unless comments are directly addressed to me, do not take them personally. Hehe. Thanks for your input.
by Vee
Yes, I think they can.
Yes a girl and guy can be just good friends. It depends on how you take it.
Well I tend to think it not the 'norm'.
If a female has a male ''friend''.........then it is unusual.
That is my opinion.
P.S. ...I'm not up for debate on this one.
by jonaja
Yes they can. I would not be friends with any exes though if that's what you mean. I do have plenty of guy friends/mates as well as a proper boyfriend.
Yes, I think you can be friends with guys and girls. I have to say that it's been easier to do since I've been married, because people know upfront that I'm off the market and they get that I'm just being a friend.
Yes, I don't see why not.
yes,that is perfectly possible till your reach the next level where it ceases to be just platonic friendship.
I think they can - it depend on what they do together and how they interact...
Yeah why not.But the minute he interests you or think about him at a family dinner table, be sure cupid has hit you.
Never they keep checking each other out until the moment comes.

The test would be to place one set of female and male friends in a beautiful hotel room together for a week...if nothing happens then only are you pure friends. If one is not willing to do the test, then the suggested friendship is acted out.
Well, I used think so until some of my girl friends said my guy friends had told them they were hoping for something more. I hope they were misreporting. Having different gender friends adds different perspectives and richness to life. I continue to have male friends and hope you all do too.

I think that it depends on the people involved, their age and how close the friendship is...whether you're just classmates or work colleagues, or whether you're best friends who really reveal your heart and mind to each other. If it's the last option, perhaps your 'friend' might be an ideal life partner though. Friendship is the basis of any successful long-term marriage after all! A problem, though, if your friendship falls into that category, could be if either you or your friend get involved romantically with someone else. It might be OK with some people but I don't think my husband would like it and I'm not sure whether I'd be comfortable having another woman close to him who wasn't a family member.

Also...some male friends have told me that it can be harder for men to be 'just friends' than it is for women...some time ago I saw a funny short film clip about the subject in which both men and women were asked this question. The opinions of each gender varied quite a bit!
I know what you mean Carolyn, I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of my husband being quite close to another woman (who isn't family). He certainly isn't keen on me having one-on-one time with male friends. I think there would always be that degree of risk. Hmmm.
by Vee
Of course they can.
Any friendship kept at an arm's length can survive the tests of time, no matter between who it is. I have many guy & girl friends in several age groups and a closer set of friends and yet another close intimate ones, so close they can hear what I'm not saying.
But it's very true that familiarity could breed contempt too, hence if all friends can mutually maintain the required distance and avoid crossing the delicate lines, friendship can thrive.
But the limits could vary from one to another, it's the mutual respect for time, space and other limitations that matter amidst 2 persons or within a group. If one wants to take it up a notch, they must be prepared to respect the decision from the other.
And all said and done, I read somewhere that "True happiness is being married to a good friend" - in my case my friendship with my partner has come true and continues...
by Manny
If they do not get very close. As soon as they cross a certain line its hard for romantic emotions not to get involved
by Gia
Of course they can be just friends. I feel that it's usually a jealous partner that will have an issue with it and that's where it stems from.
That was a put down for all people who do not feel secure in their relationships. You blamed the partner for not letting their partner have friends that they want of the opposite sex
by mwrag
Sure, when I was in high school, my two best friends were girls.
Yes. It would take a pretty shallow person to never want to talk to a person if they didn't want to be 'romantic'. Plus, there's sexuality to consider as well. Everyone's different. Sometimes crushes can develop, sometimes it can be more than a crush. But sometimes people are just better as friends. Crushes pass.
I think it's healthy to have a diverse group of friends. It lets you see more of the world--gives you more perspective.
Most definitely they can. I have several males who are great friends. Also one of my dzughtdfs has a couple of really great male friends she went to church and school with and they are still in contact even though one lives interstate but always visits when he comes to NSW. I used to think she'd end up marrying one of them but when quizzed I was told with a horrified expression on her face, that they were like brothers to her.
Guys and girls can be friends forever.
It depends on how secure the other partner feels in the relationship. If you do not feel that secure, then, anyone that your partner spends a lot of time with looks like a major threat.
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