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Would you mind if your fiancé had strippers at his ‘Bucks night’?

by Vee (follow)
Relationships (205)      Entertainment (193)      Sexuality (3)     

Dancing people
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For the vast majority of men (at least for the ones with whom I am acquainted), having strippers perform at their Bucks night is a given. Meanwhile, their partners are expected to understand, perhaps even approve.

I, however, am what many will undoubtedly dub ‘a prude’ (a proud and feminist 'prude', mind you). I think that having entertainment such as this is the most ridiculous way of preparing for the most significant and most sacred commitment of one’s life.

For those who consider it as nothing more than ‘a bit of fun’, I dare say that such an attitude betrays much more than a mere lust for fun.

Would you mind if your fiancé had strippers at his ‘Bucks night’? Why or why not?

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As a man I can say that there is always a couple of blokes in a group who would push this activity.In my experience at these events most of the men are uncomfortable about it and the groom is normally humiliated by the experience. One party I attended turned into a punch up when the groom tried to escape and the host would not let him. I ended up outside trying to help the drunk and naked groom to be get dressed. Not a good night and a tradition that completely denies what marriage stands for. I think as a community we need to move on from this degrading activity.
kstew thanks for your input. You have made my day. The experience you've shared sounds awful. I'm sorry about what happened. I have to be honest, I was too caught up in the objectification of the stripper to even consider the effect it might have on the groom. I now better understand that this practice is degrading to both the stripper and the 'strippee'. Thanks again for sharing.
by Vee
Thanks for sharing that! I haven't been to a buck's night but I've heard (and seen the results of) men who were pressured into stuff they didn't want to do at them (not having strippers, but drinking more they they wanted to and doing other dumb things) and I don't think "tradition" is an excuse to bully people.
There is a misconception that strippers do more than stripping. Strippers are very professional and did not mind at all. There were strippers at the buck party, and were watched more by the married guys than the guy that was going to get married!
Mature men do Not want Strippers, at a Bucks night.
The whole idea of even a Buck's night makes me see red.Or a Hen's night.

Don't like them, never did.
As for the strippers, I don't care what other things they do...they are strippers.
Some Buck's night's end also badly, and the thought of men drinking, maybe getting under the weather, who needs it.I love Prudes, they know when to stop!
I'm one too slightly, and someone has to know what's good or not so?
They make me see red as well. I think it's sleazy and objectifies women.
by Vee
Exactly! :)
by jonaja
I don't think I would mind, I have had friends whose partners have had strippers for their bucks nights. Usually their mates organise it anyway, so it's not like they would plan to have one. Having said that, my husband and his mates were never I to such stuff so it never came up for us.
I would cross that bridge when the time comes again, and depending on how many strippers he wants of course!
As long as he doesn't mess up - it's harmless fun and should be okay.

Hen's night are the same - you have male strippers who make you feel good with their bodies (not getting physical though) and are there purely for entertainment.
Xarah, I disagree with your suggestion that strippers are 'harmless fun'. Whether they are male or female, strippers, and those they strip for, are involved in a process of objectification. This promotes and reinforces certain values and attitudes that are contrary to respect and dignity. Though, at the end of the day, I suppose it's each to their own. Thanks for commenting.
by Vee
I've never actually met a man who even wanted strippers at his buck's night, to be honest. A family member was surprised with one, and he was made so uncomfortable by it (and the stories he tells just aren't polite to share). My brother decided a day of paintball was a much better thing to do, and all his friends since have done the same thing because they enjoyed it so much.

My husband didn't even have a bucks, nor I a hens, as the concept didn't make much sense to either of us. It was his suggestion, too - why have an event to celebrate bringing us together as a couple that hinges on us being apart from each other?
Kerri, you have just made my day! Hope has (partially) been restored. Haha. Thanks for your input.
by Vee
I'm so glad Vee. Keep up the hope, all is not lost!
by Kerri
When I was getting married, I arranged the stripper to be sent to my fiancee's bucks night, but I asked them to send someone pretty 'ordinary' and she was, but she did have a lovely smile.
fifi, I don't know what to say to that. You were ok with the idea of another woman getting naked in front of your man, and him potentially being aroused by her?
by Vee
I don't think she got down to being naked. She was dressed as a Bunny Girl
by fifi.
As a man I think this is sounds like a crazy thing to do. When I started dating my wife before we got married I instantly dropped the idea of flirting around, playing around or even looking a second time on other women. To be interacting with a stripper before getting married would be like violating exclusivity of our relationship. If a stripper is OK at a buck party then why wouldn't one be OK after the wedding.Why would messing around with any other woman in that case be OK. The use of strippers is a bad idea. Nothing good can come from this.
I have already voted for a response to this question, otherwise I would have voted for your response. Thank you for making my day. I think if more people shared his view, divorce rates wouldn't be as they are now. :)
by Vee
ONE stripper not more, and provided it was 1 month before Wedding. However, it is unlikely a partner of mine wld agree to one (I hope). More likely the 'boys' wld go camping/fishing/rafting for a weekend - a month before Wedding.
Yes, I would. But then, he wouldn't have wanted that anyway. Of course he's going to desire other women sometimes, he's only human, but going out of your way to pay money to ogle women is something else.
Why would I mind?
If i am happy and comfortable, a nude will not make a difference!
by Finy
I wonder how many men would wan't their daughters to know that's what they had at their buck's night. Particularly when their daughters are teenagers and seeing their parents as a bit embarrassing anyway. Don't think the dads would like it a whole lot.
fran. If only that served as a deterrent. I think, I could very well be wrong, that the kind of men who entertain strippers couldn't care less what their daughters thought of them. It makes me cringe to see fathers wearing those 'dirty' shirts - the ones with daughters most of all. Men like that don't care.
by Vee
You are probably quite right Vee.
by fran.
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