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Who wears the pants in your relationship?

by annep (follow)
Advice (63)      Relationship (37)      Men (25)     


pants in relationship
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Gone are the days when women were satisfied with staying home and raising children while their husbands worked to bring the bread home. Now many women enjoy as much financial independence as their partner.

Modern women learn to take charge of their life, which gives them more confidence. More and more women have succeeded in proving their equality, going so far as surpassing their male counterparts in the power struggle.

So what do you think of this? Who wears the pants in your family?


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Nobody "wears the pants" here. We have an equal partnership. I second Happy Mom's comment, there is nothing wrong a woman staying home and caring for the kids if she wants to. I'm a stay at home mother but that doesn't mean my husband is in charge. Nor does doing his share around the house and discussing major decisions with me make him "whipped".

That letter describes an abusive relationship, which is terrible whether the abuser is male or female. The response to it creates a false dichotomy by saying that one partner must be on top. That is simply not the case.

"Otherwise, before you know it, you'll be wearing a skirt around the house while dusting the furniture." That sentence reveals the writer's misogyny. To look like or behave like a woman is seen as degrading because he believes that to be a woman is degrading (to paraphrase Ian McEwan in The Cement Garden).

"Because like it or not, it is probably the only thing left in life that we men can still lay claim to."
Excuse me?! Last time I looked men still laid claim to an awful lot. Somebody needs to check his privelege!
I wrote that before the link was edited out of the question post.
I first of all want to say that there is nothing wrong with me staying at home, raising children while my husband is the breadwinner.
Secondly, despite these defined roles, we both have a balanced relationship, where neither 'wears pants' or feels the need to wear pants.
I question if it really matters. If you have two strong minds you will always have a clash, but most the time it is nice to be lead instead of leading. However, I think we both manipulate the other to get our own way. I believe that may happen more often in a relationship.
While many women are happy to be a full-time housewife, men are not so enthusiastic to accept the idea of staying at home and play father while their partners go out to work. You can blame it on their competitive nature, but the fact is that you won't find many men enjoying the role which traditionally belongs to women. In a modern relationship, when both have strong personalities, conflicts might happen. However, unless they can maintain a certain balance, troubles often arise.
I feel that rather than fighting for dominance, two people in a relationship should seek some agreement. Only by having their own roles, in which each can achieve personal satisfaction while not trespassing on another's space, then they can be happy.
Both me and my partner equally. He earns more though, yet the works the longest hours between us.
Equality in our house. We each recognise that we have our strengths and weaknesses, and that decisions should be made on a shared basis.
My family has a strong matriarchy which includes my mother and her mother. They have all the say!
Being a single parent, I wear both, the pants and the skirt.
Currently not in a relationship but it was usually the guy when I was. Happier without a guy now.
by Finy
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