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What would you do if your Mum forbids you to do something you love?

by Vee (follow)
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You're an adult and have a family of your own, but your mum forbids you doing something you love - what do you do?

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As a child I had to obey. As an adult I have the freedom to do as I wish. As husband it is the opinion of my wife I value most. My mothers' views, while they are respected and valued are not meant to by obeyed. If this causes her some discomfort that would be bad but she ought to respect my life decisions. I would however try to bridge the gap and hope we can maintain a good relationship.
Hide the body.
by Rice
Gold, Rice!
by donjo
If I am an adult, who is independent, with a fully matured brain, capable of making rational decisions based on evidence, why would my mother be making decisions for me?? I am not scared of my mother, but I would listen to her point of view. My mother has never interfered in my life, and has let me make my own mistakes. We have raised our children in the same way. We give our opinions from time to time, but we have never FORBIDDEN anything and neither have my parents. They would have to produce some fairly strong evidence to support their ban. I would listen to them, take their evidence on board, weigh up the pros and cons, and make my decision. I would not do something just because my mother told me to. That's silly. Parents are not gods who know all, like we used to think, at 4 years of age. We are not children anymore, so if it is the wrong decision, we will find out in due course and learn from it.
I would keep trying to convince her and have the hope that someday she will agree with her daughter and then achieve my dream :)
Oh dear!
I'd this situation as a young adult.
I was to travel to a large township in PNG.

My Mother made me promise NOT to fly in a plane with only one engine!
She had a nasty experience on my previous trip there, with an plane crashing, which she thought I was on, when I actually was having breakfast at the Papua Hotel, in Port Moresby!

I was asked by a pilot to fly with him to another township, which I would've loved to do, as I fly as often as possible, because I just love flying.

You guessed it. Small plane only had one engine!

So I gracefully declined, citing my reason why, & he said 'if that's what you've promised your Mother, you must do as she's asked'.

It was an experience I have regretted not taking, & that was many decades' ago.
Of course, that opportunity never arose again, & won't.


But knowing my luck, IF I'd disobeyed my Mother, something would've happened!
Ummm......why on earth would she forbid me to do something? Mum would never have done anything like this, but if she had done so, I would have gone against her as this is my life, not hers.
I think out of respect one should hear the REASON Why.

But!

Your an adult, and because this is a sensitive issue....sometimes parents see something (maybe more) than we would.

Having said that, if you have a good older friend, pastor of your church, someone 'who' has a good head on their shoulders...I would seek their advice, as most parents would Not forbid a child who is an adult.

Something has caused this to happen.

Now if this was a ongoing issue with things the (adult child) wanted to do!.... during other times of their life, then you have a serious ISSUE.

1) It all depends on 'what' it is you want to do.

2) Seek advice, and not just from one person.

3) Has this happened before?

NO Parent has the 'right' to forbid their adult (child) .
Out of respect, we do need to listen and see if they may be right this one time.

It must NOT continue, by the parent(s).

Once maybe, but it would HAVE TO BE one VERY GOOD REASON!


Do it anyway. She knows I listen to her opinion and value it. Love you Mom!
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