The question here is 'what do I'.
So without trying to upset anyone, I would like to answer this question.
In times of great sadness,and distress.
I do what a great deal of people do who are of the same 'faith' as myself.
I ask Christ to help me.
I did when my darling mother died, and within moments all distress had gone.That was a turning point for me.I never cried a day after that, just peace and a feeling of calm came.
My family around me could not understand, but they were not people who believe in Christ.
Since then all other dreadful things like two of my brothers sons committing suicide, have been dreadful times....but I just pray, and I am at peace for a long time.
It doesn't mean I can't feel grief, but my grief is what seems to be wrapped in something.That's all I can say.It is not as 'raw' as it should be.
My mind is not that strong to cause such an outcome, so it is supernatural.
We have suffered two bereavements in the space of a week, and I am struggling to cope. I have found talking to close friends and family helpful and also we went to the seaside at the weekend and I found being next to the sea very soothing. Sadly I can't spend all day every day there, though!