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Is it ok for a married person to holiday abroad without their spouse?

by Vee (follow)
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Travel (236)      Holidays (82)      Marriage (62)     


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I previously thought it inappropriate for a married person to holiday abroad without their spouse until the time came for my husband to pursue his passion for steam trains.

Our son had just reached the four month mark and I had no desire to trek out to the middle of nowhere to watch steam trains haul coal across a barren landscape. So off he went, and twelve short days later he was home again. It was 'no biggie' for me, but it meant the world to him.

What do you think? Is it ok for a married person to holiday abroad without their spouse?

#Travel
#Holidays
#Marriage
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Top Answers
I think so.
It depends of course on the reasons why....but a good marriage will be fine with
one home, and one off some where, for a time.
Being married doesn't mean you stop being a person.That's where a lot of couples go wrong.
I agree, if it is a genuine thing. If you are worried they are cheating or if it's an unhappy marriage, this is not a good sign. If you are both happy and content, then it's fine.
Sometimes interests will result in travel opportunities that take a person away from the family and I think its very acceptable to holiday on ones own some. If it was every holiday apart and no mutual holidays together that might be another thing but likely this depends on the individual couple and their circumstances.
Sure. It's healthy to let "the winds of heaven dance between you" now and then. You've got to still have your own interests even once you're in a couple, because their unique personality was what you were drawn to in the first place.
I think it is okay, especially if it means they are following a passion that the other person doesn't share. It's also much cheaper if you don't have to take all the kids with you. That said, as long as there are also family holidays too (not necessarily overseas).
I have to say that I am genuinely surprised by all these affirmative comments. Much of our family was horrified to learn that my husband was going away without me. Your openmindedness is refreshing so thank you all for your input.
by Vee
People are weird. Did you explain the reason? Why would you want to spend all that money to do something you don't want to do? Just explain that you are then doing "X" together. Also, realistically, after awhile together, why would you want to stop someone following their passions? (It's not like he is going away for a year without you, it's just a week in a lifetime together.)
I know! Yes, I explained it to them, but they still didn't understand. Some members of our family are quite traditional, so I'm putting it down to that.
by Vee
Oh! Vee, basically it's NONE of their business what you, & your husband do, at anytime, actually!

Both my husband, & I, me particularly, HAD to travel both Dom & Intnly many, many times separately, in our careers. We actually never told 'family' when we were doing this. Had nothing to do with them, & didn't impact them in any way whatsoever.
by donjo
I know where you are coming from donjo, and I agree 100% when it comes to work. When it comes to holidays, on the other hand, I think the couple must be on the same page. I think, too, that our circumstances were 'special', so the opinion of one person in particular was valid. :| LOL.
by Vee
It depends, Vee.
One time, I had a week's holiday booked for WA. Husband not interested in trip.
Turned out, he had ARes Course same week!
Got in a nanny for kids' & all sweet!

I had a great time, so did hubby!
by donjo
Yes definitely. As long as the partner doesn't mind and is in agreement, then there should be no problem.
I am not too sure on this one. A couple should be able to make sacrifices for one another, and if one spouse has the desire to travel while the other babysits, I am not sure how I would feel about that. It has to be a reciprocal relationship of mutual respect and opportunities should be given to both.
If both people in the couple are okay with it then it's okay and not anyone else's business. If one gets to go on holiday and the other one can't (due to work or childcare comittments) and feels left out or lonely then that's something they need to discuss.
It is fine, depending on the reasons. More compassion is featured if it is for a sick family member on the spouses end.
Yes I think it is ok. If one enjoys doing say a sport and the other does not. We had many holidays separate for this reason.
Yes, but not too often and certainly not as a rule. Being married does not mean being in jail, but then if it becomes a habit, what's the point of being married?
The scenario you described seems innocent enough but going on vacation to a resort in Bali is a Lifetime movie in the making.
by Gia
Agreed. That would not be ok with me.
by Vee
Couples don't necessarily have the same interests. There was an episode on Parenthood where the wife wanted to travel and the old stick in the mud husband was happy just pottering around the garden. She ended up going on tour in Italy with a group of like minded art students and loved it. That's acceptable. However if he wanted to go to Thailand with the boys that might not be acceptable.
With you on that one.
by Vee
My job required constant overseas travel. Some were mini, mini holidays ie weekend. Hubby's had to do same, but at 7-10 days' at a time.

So, IMO, of course it is! No drama's!
Yes - I have had several trips to the USA and UK to visit family on my own, and with my late husband. He didn't enjoy long flights so neither of us had any problem with me travelling alone on several occasions. We did a fair bit of travel together at our end of the world though - Singapore, Thailand, Fiji,and several destinations in Australia because they were shorter flights. I think it is a personal choice.
It's most definitely okay for one spouse to travel without the other. My husband has been overseas to visit family and friends on 5 occasions on his own. I don't speak the language for one thing and found it incredibly lonely the first time we went as a family over 25 years ago. Of course the relatives wanted to know why I wasn't there but as I was also working all those years it was easier to use that as a reason. I enjoy my time on my own so it's also a holiday for me as well and as we have different interests, we pursue what we enjoy best.
Of course it is possible to travel abroad even though your spouse is not with you. It is a matter of trust. Too many people do not have their basics right of trust, respect, consideration freedom to be just you. No wonder so many marriages fail. Get the basics right !
Definitely. a little time apart to follow ones passions makes us appreciate each other more when we are together again.
yes, depending on the people and the relationship though better if they go together!
by Finy
yes, depending on the people and the relationship though better if they go together!
by Finy
Yes sure. It is probably a really safe decision to make too. Holidaying can be a very expensive business and unless you both have the same interest, it usually ends up that half of the gang ends up being disappointed.
I've never thought of it as a bad thing. My husband is very easy going. He always found it difficult to take time off work, so I've been to: Q'd, twice, S.A. 4 times, Perth once, Darwin 3 times, The UK, Paris twice, on my own or with a daughter. I've also taken our daughter's backpacking in Bali for 3 weeks, with a friend, & her teenage son, & I daughter to Spain for 3 weeks. 3 months after that trip, my husband took our youngest daughter to Vietnam & Bangkok for 2/3 weeks. (While they were away, I had a new timber verandah & walkway added to our house!!) My husband has been to the USA with a friend from work as well as once on his own, & taken our eldest daughter to Zimbabwe. Since the daughters left home, & my husband took an early redundancy, we've cruised 10 times, 14 to 35 night cruises, & one 9 night cruise & always together!
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