As tough as this might be to swallow, the first and foremost step is to acknowledge that the divorce has occurred in your life and relationship, and it has occurred for a reason. Focus on the great things (I know, easier said than done) that have now eventuated on the back of this decision. Remember, nothing is permanent. Accept the divorce, and begin to build yourself up. Take good care of yourself, and remember, there are great people around you to support you no matter what.
Well having gone through 2 no less, I think I can speak on this subject with a little experience :)
My first was the hardest....and I would never wish even one divorce on anyone.
Your question is''what are my pearls of wisdom''...so these are mine.
You need to first understand 'why', it happened.
Like a doctors report( list all symptoms of the marriage).Look at it in a third person, so it will show you...that it was maybe 'going to happen', given its symptoms.
Now to treat it!
Well that's going to be different for every person, so you need to seek out what prescription of medicine you will need.
If there is a child or children, then it may have to be for all of you.Loving each other, and trying to take each day one at a time.Being involved in new things, and planning your days ahead.What you need to do to remain well for yourself, and them.
If it is just yourself, then that's a tad harder.
If you can stand to have family around...or friends, and the help of their company would be of benefit....You may want to be alone, and then you must look after yourself....I'm not big into being totally alone, with this kind of sadness.It can be overwhelming for you.
I really really hate to say this, because it has been said so much! but....time is the one big help in all of this. There is no quick fix.
Each day you do get stronger, even though you may have bad days, they are just that!
Keep busy, most important.
Eat healthy, no matter what...and if you feel you need to cry, DO!
People who say''you must be strong'' are very damaging.
Stay away from them, and try slightly to re-invent yourself.
A whole new haircut, or colour...something that can transform you, from who you were to who you are now.
There is only one day at a time, but try and also get involved when your up to it...in something with others.It really helped me a great deal, in healing and taking my mind off my pain.
All the very best and just tell yourself, this is just one part of your life...it is not forever, Thank God!....You will have many many happy years to come, believe me....I know.
Life is forever regenerating, and that's such a great promise we all have to look forward too.
You will regenerate, and grow and blossom because it's all part of the grand plan.
Do not beat yourself up about it now...it has happened (for whatever the reasons were).