Are you a full time Mum? Are you caring for your kids 24/7? It's no easy task. Spending most of your waking hours with little ones can have even wonder woman suffering from boredom, headaches, exhaustion, lack of 'me' time, anxiety, stress and frustration. Although we are very lucky to be able to stay at home with our kids it can feel like you no longer know yourself. The only shows you watch and the songs you know the words to are from play school, the wiggles or Sesame Street.
So to all the Mum's out there what do you do to stay sane in your role?
Can you help other Mum's out there?
Please leave your tips below, we would love to hear your ideas. Thanks
Make sure you get out of the house, even if it's just a walk to the shops or around your neighbourhood, every day. Get some sunshine and see some other adults! Also make an effort to keep in touch with your friends even though it's easy to let that sort of thing slide when they're at work all day and you may not be able to go out in the evenings like you used to.
Keep up your own hobbies if you can. You need to make a little time for yourself, even if it's only half an hour at a time, to read a book, do some yoga, watch tv uninterrupted or whatever it is that makes you happy. I also find audiobooks and podcasts help make housework a lot less boring. Music helps too.
Don't feel guilty about having fun. It makes you a better parent. Remember that if you're not happy the odds are your kids won't be either. If you never get to relax it's much harder to respond calmly when they have, for example, done a poo on the floor and trodden it across the living room carpet.
Although my daughter is now a young adult, when she was younger I was mainly a stay-at-home mum. To stay sane I think that it's crucial to schedule some 'me' time into each day, if possible. Having an hour or two slotted into the day not only keeps you balanced but it also helps you to be more loving and emotionally present when you are with your kids. When my daughter was a baby I saw an amazing poster on the wall at a child health clinic saying: 'Mothers need mothering too', and I've always thought that is so true.
If you have a supportive partner, they'll probably jump at the chance to spend some quality time with the kids. Otherwise, your mother or other trusted family members can often be more than happy to give you a break from time to time. Be careful not to advantage of them, though, as you may find that they're suddenly 'too busy'. Otherwise, short-term or casual day care might be the answer and give you the chance to nurture yourself in whatever way you choose....even if it means returning to work casually for a day or two.
Fun stuff to do in your 'me' time might be as simple as going for a walk or jog, visiting the gym or spending a couple of hours doing something fun with your girlfriends. Friends who are also mums are especially good to hang with as you can plan special outings together, sometimes with the kids and sometimes just 'the girls'.
Going for regular walks, reading interesting story books, gardening with the little ones and experimenting with exotic dishes while doing yoga every day of the week are excellent ways to remain sane and maybe productive even.
Yes, you are right. My son has started to look after the plants in our backyard. He loves it, he waters them everyday with a hose and is so excited when they grow. If he is having a tantrum taking him to do his 'special job' really calms him down.
I think it's high time I answer my own questions! Lol
So here goes, this is what helps me:
-Chocolate, tea and coffee!
-Be busy, make plans, go places, have a bit of a routine, have a hobby, meditate, practise deep breathing, join mother's groups and playgroups, go to different parks, libraries and shops, have a family calendar up in your kitchen, have support networks and trustworthy child minders, get out of the house even if it's just for a short walk.
If grandparents live close and are capable let them help out whenever they can, it's great for everyone.
Give yourself some much needed time out. I know this is easier said than done, yet it is essential to your sanity. Yoga, meditation and massages are all good. Find a way to make an effort despite your busy schedule.
In my experience, help from your husband/partner should always be welcomed, set your priorities (if the dishes don't get washed, it's OK), take naps whenever you can, don't give up on your hobbies (like watching TV/movies, reading books, meeting up with friends, etc.) and as soon as the kids are old enough to enroll them in kindergarten, do it! :)
Hi, To stay sane I think you have to keep things in perspective and realise that time flies and they grow so quickly. Try to find things to laugh about every day and face each challenge calmly. Mindfulness really helps appreciate the small things that can get lost in the mundane routines. Also hot baths with luxurious creams after is nice. Jo x
I was privileged to be a full time mother when it was seen as an honourable profession. I never considered myself less of a person, nor was \i treated as such and I think the world would be a safer, nicer, better place if those women who preferred to be full time mothers were applauded instead of made to feel less - egad if we had to pay a woman for the roles she undertakes as a mother we wouldnever afford her! I have 2 daughters; both mid 40's and both mothers BUT one always wanted to be a full time Mum while the other sought a career. Women should have real choice andshould be paid a living wage if their vocation is to full time motherhood. We have always had "latch key" children but nowadays "nannies", "childminders" have swelled the ranks of kids whose parents give "quality time" and wear themselves out trying to provide the latest, the most advertised etc etc etc ... If you want to bea full time mother go for it - tally up your earnings versus the childminder fees ... is it worth it? Just being around, especially when your kids are little - and then again intheir teens when they might not want you but they really do ... always keep your own hobbies etc and make no apology if you do need/want to go off or have "me" time ... OK my main hobby was the world of Girl Guides and I was stretched, challenged, involved sufficiently as both Leader and Trainer, along with my creative abilities, never to feel less of a contributor to "society" (whatever the heck that is, anyway!)
I would strongly urge a woman who wants to be a full time Mum to do the math - outside work and childminder v freedom to be fully involved in the child/ren; to be very positive and assertive to those who would force her to the outside workplace by citing the many professional roles she is under or unpaid for: cook, driver, adviser, confidant (counsellor), laundress, home nurse, reader, arbitrator and many more I can't find names! If at all possible, of course, a fully supportive "other half" is crucial ... both my girls were single Mums for a time and it was unbearable - Icount my myriad blessings that my spouse of 48 years has always considered us an equal partnership
If you're a Mum you're one of the world's wonders!!!
If you are a home mother, I think you're wonderful. You make the decision to have babies, and from an early age they learn about themselves with your company - i realise many people must put their children in day care at a very early age, I've worked with women who had their babies in nursery from 6 months, so that they could return to their careers. How do babies feel the security of their mother? Just asking.
Do all the suggestions below, and never turn on daytime television.
this was my stay at home in the 60's and 70's Husband wage was about $65 00 ,per week mortgage the same, as in those days it could only be by law one week of the Husbands Monthly wage
,(maybe we need that now) no time to go insane, lived on 5 acres ,plenty for Children to do ,good group of friends, played tennis, we all went, also Netball we all went ,afternoon teas with friends we took it in turn again children were with us morning coffee with neighboure ,kids included, we were socialising ,and children making life long friends, I quilted learned through member of the school P and C was also involved in as secretary and the tuck shop too, all run by parents ,then we made the cakes and sandwiches,we ran school fetes and lots of good fund raisers when children all at school I was still still involved ,everything was fun and best of all ,apart from tennis, all free,yes volunteering was good so was keeping busy and all done on one wage, we car pooled most of the time depending on who's car was available as we used to drive Husbands to work,or the Station,not much money but lots of love, and time spent with the children was more inportant than anything else