When I was 42 years old, I became pregnant with a man I had been dating for three years even though the doctors said I couldn't become pregnant 15 years prior. I was very sick and waiting for disability (took three years) had no income and was on a daily battle with not becoming homeless since I had given custody of my 15 year old son to my ex-husband after a terrible divorce so I received no financial support. I gave up my son for three years to my ex-husband because I just couldn't put my son through the turbulence in my life at the time and I had to get my disease under control.
The doctors told me that having the baby would probably kill me (I have Addison's Disease, which is a rare adrenal disorder.) Since the son that I had raised turned out so perfect and smart, I decided that I just couldn't have an abortion and if it wasn't meant to be, I would have a miscarriage.
So I found a married woman my own age through a mutual friend that couldn't carry a child to term (she had had a still birth the previous year in the ninth month.) Her family adopted Emma who is now five years old.
When I gave birth, her family and my family were all at the hospital and it was a wonderful joyous experience. When Emma gets older, she will know that I loved her enough to give her up. I could barely take care of myself at that point in my life.
I am proud of my decision. Emma is happy, healthy, and doing great with her family. I can look at myself in the mirror without any guilt. My parents can see their grandchild and do quite often and so do I.
Thanks for the compliment. I was blessed to find a local family. What a shame they don't allow that in Australia. I think it is best for the child to know who the birth parents are. Otherwise they will always wonder and feel abandoned.
No, I haven't. No, I couldn't. I could never have an abortion either. It must be the worst feeling in the world to give a child up. Yes, I know, this does not gel with my answer to "Do You Love Children". That's life.
I admire your decision Polly, you did a wonderful thing. I was answering in a "perfect world" scenario. I would give a child up to a better life if that was the case. My m-i-l tried to push me to have an abortion . . . . she failed.
Good for you, Rice. I couldn't do it either. Somebody close to me did. She didn't even understand why it was offered to her nor what it entailed. To this day, I don't think she understands...perhaps it's better that way.
I raised my son and he is wonderful. I did a fantastic job. He is in college now and studying to be a rocket scientist. He is getting his doctorates in physics and mathematics. I know how much work it takes and I knew when I was sick at age 42 that I just couldn't do it again. I could barely take care of myself. I just wanted to do what was best for my daughter, and that was giving her up. Abortion was not an option for me.