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Do you want to live with your boyfriend?

by Justine Crowley (follow)
Independent Business Consultant, Doctor, HubGarden Editor and Author/Publisher of four self help books: www.smashwords.com/profile/view/JustineCrowley
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Image: David Castillo Dominici / freedigitalphotos.net A couple moving in together. The man seems to be happy about it.


This question is dedicated to those women in a love-based relationship, who are either not engaged or married yet. Has your partner asked you to move in with him, or to find a place to move in together? Or is this something you're considering? What factors need to be taken into consideration to ensure this new living arrangement works? He might be happy about it, and you might not be and vice versa. Is it a good idea to move in with him before he proposes to you? Or wait until he commits to you?

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Like anything, take your time. Get to know him more. It all depends on the quality of your relationship. It sometimes depends on the culture/nationality of your boyfriend. For example, Greek guys (generally) stay at home until they're married. Find out what works, talk about it. Highly recommend each couple to participate in Gary Chapman's Five Languages of Love Quiz.
It's completely acceptable in this day and age to move in with your partner before you're engaged or married. In fact, some people (myself included) believe it is a very sensible idea - you really get to know someone when you're living together, it can make or break a relationship, and if it breaks the relationship I'd much rather find that out before an engagement or marriage occurs.
Moving in is a big decision which can make or break a relationship. Getting to know the other person and finding out whether this is what you want are imperative. If both of you want to move in then it can be fine. Everything depends on the depth of the relationship, personal preferences of the individuals and the viability of this decision.
If you are thinking of it don't forget to discuss it with your parents. I didn't know that my son was going to move out with a girl I didn't know and it was a shock when he didn't come home for three nights. I wouldn't have minded if I was kept informed.
I think needy people do it quickly.

Independent people will give it quite some time,they don't want to have 'their' freedom compromised.

I would not advise it.....but that is just how I see things.It can have a nasty outcome in a few months, and then that has a way of keeping you from trusting.
I think if it really is on the cards, then at least know the person for 6-7 months before even going down that road.
Freedom is such a liberating experience, and it is not always going to be there!

Enjoy life....do what you want, without having to answer to a partner.
You have to be o.k. in your own company, before you can consider living I believe, with some one else.

If I had a chance to live alone, just for 6-12 months I would.

Once you move in together, it's all about consideration of each other.
Sounds fun?
In reality, it is a LOT of hard work, and believe me issues come up from time to time.
As for finding out about that person, before marriage I guess is something people feel they need to do.
A longer engagement will fix that, once you have committed, it is very hard to walk away.
My partner and I live together and we're not married (just yet). A lot of people have a sort of 'try before you buy' philosophy - if you can't live together then a marriage is going to be a real struggle. It's not for everyone though.
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