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Do you think parents should be able to give back an adopted child?

by Gia (follow)
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morgufile


Some parents go into adoption with the mindset that love conquers all only to find out that the child they adopted has serious issues that will turn their world upside down.
Do you think parents should be able to return their adopted children?

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Absolutely not. If a child has "serious issues", adoptive parents or parents full stop have a responsibility to give the child the best they can. Could you imagine the long term implications of abandoning a child with "serious issues" or any child for that matter?

I imagine that abandoning a child simply because he or she didn't fit the adoptive parents' image of the ideal family would betray the parents' selfish motivations for adopting in the first place.
by Vee
I cannot even mention how sad and absolutely wrong would that be. That being said, should these parents have adopted the child at first place ? Adopting a child is a big thing. It changes the life of a child for good. It gives him/her new hope for their future. Parents should NEVER give up an adopted child.

But it makes me wonder, if they are keeping the child just because they 'have to', are they going to be any good for the kid as parents ? Returning is still not a good option. They should meet someone professional and work on those thoughts in a positive way.
Well ..... as a knee-jerk reaction NO! But when I think about it in more depth, would parents who feel that way about a child really be able to care for the child? Wouldn't it be less damaging to find a suitable home than to subject the child to a home that is rejecting them?

I don't think there are any easy answers here.
After reading your answer: You did make perfect sense.
I feel the same way, no child should be with people who in time, may resent and stop all Love.
by jonaj
As I said :) Completely agree with you.
by Kabhi
That is an issue with social services, if they lied and said that there was nothing wrong with child and it was free of any mental and physical issues. There may be some recall, but you have a 6 month waiting period where the both parties can change their minds, after that, then you take what you have. We found out our child had a lot of issues, as he grew older so did his medical issues, but we love him so much there is no way I would have changed our minds. That 6 month waiting period is terrible, if the mom wants him back then there can be a big fight in court, which we did and won, we have a fantastic 32 year old man whom we so proud of.
Absolutely not. Adoption is forever and binding, like having your own child. If you can't stick it out get some sea monkeys instead. A child who was "returned" by their adopted parents would feel like they'd been rejected twice.
Don't tempt me, but after almost 40 years I doubt whether the natural parents would have him. Small children, small problems; big children, big problems.
I'm with meggf on this one.
No. The parents just need to remember that that child "didn't grow under their heart, but in it". Firmly planted.
I can think of a few "natural" kids that need to be sent back to their makers.
I think they should keep the child problems and all. An adopted child should be just like you gave birth. If the child is missing their original home then take them back as much as possible but please dont give them back.
by Gia
Definitely NOT! They made their decision, stick with it. Same problems happen for parents' of their naturally born children. Where'd they give THEM back?
Not good to return a child however, there should be more information available before adoption so that the new parents know what "illness" they are getting into or have to deal with!
I always thought that adopting a child was forever no matter what..
I believe IT IS THE CHILD's benefit NOT TO BE WITH people who do not love them and be adopted by someone else who does. There are different type of parents. The child should go to another parent with the same type as him so love can foster.
Definitely not. A child is not a commodity in the commercial sense. Besides people who intend to adopt a child should accept the good with the bad, as natural parents do.
Definitely not! The catastrophic psychological damage to the rejected child would stay with him/her all their life. I can't imagine inflicting that pain on a small child.
I think adopted children should be treated the same way as "birth" children - you wouldn't send your own child away because they were an inconvenience or didn't fit the family lifestyle.
What a horrible thought
DEFINITELY NO having adopted a child.
Dreadful idea.
by Finy
Definitely not! Image the psychological damage that would cause!
No if you have decided on adoption, you should have known that it is not that easy, even when it is your own birth child it is sometimes very hard, you cant give them back, Not that you would ever want too,
That poor adopted child has already been rejected by his parent for some reason or another, so why would you want to make them really mixed up, You should never adopt if you feel it might not work out, this is a child not a piece of clothing that doesnt suit
I don't think a child should be given up after adoption but i think the parents should be alowed to foster a child for 6-8 months to see if the child will bond with them and feel safe and loved. It is not not safe or healthy for the parents or the child if they are not suited to each other. If the child is so traumatised and unhappy it would be difficult to give love unconditionally. But fostering would give the parents and the child time to see specialist professionals as a family to see if the child can be gotten through to and saved. And then adopted when the child feels safe and secure and able to recieve love.
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