Image courtesy of Kim Scarborough / Wikimedia Commons
Here in Australia and other English-speaking countries, friendly people will often call total strangers terms of endearment during casual social interactions. Dear, dearie, love, lovey, honey, sweetie and even duckie are a few variations I've heard.
Like all things in life people have varied reactions to this. Some think it's cute, other people hate it and others aren't bothered one way or another. Do you call total strangers any of these terms of endearment? Alternatively, do other people sometimes call you by one or more of them, and if so, do you like or dislike it?
I don't like it when bloke-ish men call me 'love'. That happens a lot at green grocers' markets, when they hand me groceries. They'll say things like 'There you go, love' or 'all right, love.' That I can't stand.
No, I don't actively seek out reasons to be offended. I operate on the assumption that people mean well and don't go out of their way to try and offend. Dearie or Lovey, if that is the worst that one has to contend with in the course of their life I think they are in front.
I really dislike it! But then I dislike it if it's someone I know, so a stranger has no chance... I have a name, people who know me will know my name and can use it, people who don't know me don't need to address me in a way that requires a name. A term of endearment is particularly inappropriate I think.
I lived in Nottingham for several years and round there they call people "me duck", anyone and everyone, so a bus driver will greet another man getting on the bus as "me duck", took me a while to get used to it.
I first thought it was me being inhospitable, to those who call my those names.
It happens mainly to women 'who' are mature. More so than younger, I know because I did my own tests,that's how much it would not only drive me insane, but crazy every time I went shopping.
These people who call these names to total strangers should be 'trained better' and I for one will be over the next few years doing something about it.
It's not nice
or sweet or even cute to me.
It's rude, and I dislike a complete stranger addressing me like it.
I never gave them that option, and they should not even take it.
Familiarity does breed contempt....
From now on, maybe I should very nicely say ''please do not call me that''!
I don't really mind strange older ladies calling me love or sweetie as long as they do the same to other random people. I don't think I like anyone except my wife calling me honey though. It makes me feel cheap.
I don't call people by these terms of endearment as I know it really annoys some. I don't mind if people call me by these names as no harm is meant. It's not as if they are saying something negative. I agree wholeheartedly with Shelley Murphy's comments.
I don't particularly like being called darling or lovey by a stranger , but what I really dislike is when you go to a restaraunt or hotel for a meal and the young waiter/waitress comes up and says "how are yoos guys today " or "what would yoos guys lie to order"? Aren't they trained anymore ?
Oh! Peter, slovenly speech is everywhere these days! Not too many people bother with Elocution, more's the pity!
Just listen to 'witnesses' speaking on TV news. Usually, you can't understand one word they say. And if they've got an accent, forget it!
I detest when retail staff half my age call me all the luvvy and darls type names.
I lived in a milk bar from 11 yrs - 15 and never did this. Was taught by lovely managers in G J Coles when i was 17 how to address the customers.
Too bad it doesn't happen any more.
I don't like it at all. But since the people who do it are usually unconscious of the effect it has on me I smile sweetly and reply in like manner.
Funnily enough, the people who dish it out often don't like being on the receiving end. They don't do it to me a second time. :)
I'm not keen on dearie as it can come across as sarcastic on occasion but I am a sucker for old folk calling me lovey. My just deceased F-I-L always called me lovey . . . . now I will probably want to cry if I get called it :((
Was at a medical practice a few weeks' ago, & one of the Receptioniste's (mid-'40's) called me 'dear'. I just firmly told her I don't like that condescending way, that you can call me by my first name, or Mrs (surname).
I suppose she's used to dealing with nearly deaf patients' in their '70's-'80's, who seem to enjoy be called by those 'non-names'.
Yes, ppinf, one can never go wrong calling a person 'ma'am' or 'sir'.
After all that's what's done in the Defence Force, Police etc., & sounds so good!
When in Army, being addressed as 'Ma'am' was respectful.
All communication training for industries need to insist that trainees refer to women over 20yrs old approx as mam and men of 20 yrs as sir - this deary, sweetiepie, duck is offensive and that clients and customers may not return to store, better still complain to management etc