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Do think you could be happy as a single person?

by Finy (follow)
Happy (6)      Alone (6)      Single (4)      Lonely (2)     


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Do you think you could be happy being single?

Or are you already single and happy, or perhaps not so happy and lonely?

#Single
#Happy
#Alone
#Lonely
I like this Question - 20
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Top Answers
My happiness has nothing at all to do with whether I am married or single. If you are a happy person, like me, being married or single SHOULD not change that. I enjoy being happily married, but if my husband dies, I will be single, but I will still be a happy person, despite missing him. It is sad if ones happiness depends on whether you have a partner or not.
I am a single person, and after two failed times of marriage, it is not for me.

Love being alone, no one to answer too...No one to argue with, no one who has a bad temper, or has something negative to say, or
is just a plain out pain in the backside.

It isn't for everyone, and I feel now with the computer you never need feel lonely.
So MUCH to do and see, and of course one can join groups, and have an interest....For some people they need to have someone around, but that's not the case with me.

I think it is a good idea to experience it, and maybe gain independence, which is another bonus.







I was always scared of being alone, so seemed to drift from one relationship to the next!

However about 5 years ago, I was forced to be alone, and to my delight I LOVE it!

It is a selfish way of life possibly but it is just lovely doing what I want, when I want, and how I want with no criticism.

I know I picked the wrong guy most of the time and the last was disastrous as he told me most days that there was something wrong with me!!! After we split, I realised there was something wrong with him, and I was perfectly normal -haha.

Anyway, now I am alone a lot of the time, with my lovely two dogs, and find it difficult to be with a lot of people.

I love being single, though sometimes it would be nice to have someone other than dogs, to talk to at night, as long as he went home.....
by Finy
Oh! how I agree with you about being able to talk to someone other than our dogs,but only if we are able to send them home when we have had enough!!!
Fortunately the friends I have never outstay their welcome as they are similar in personality to myself and love their independence!!
I am SO pleased for you,that you have found the joys connected to living by yourself! I guess for someone who has always had someone else in their life,it can be very scary after so many years of being put down as you mentioned happened to you,to find themselves all by themself! Thank heavens you discovered that it was your ex who was the problem,and to me what sounds like an emotional Bully!! It is simply BLISS to live our lives as we wish,and not feel beholden to a spouse/partner. Taking charge of our own lives is such a treat,each and every day!!
by Jules
I am single and happy, I believe happiness comes from within... my relationship with God brings me Joy... so even if things may not be going the way I want them too, I have a peace and contentment that is within me, in the good and not so good times.
I couldn't be happy as a non-single person. I don't want a significant other, and I couldn't imagine being happy in a relationship. Sounds awful to me.
No, Bryony, it's NOT awful!
What a strange slant to have on a loving marriage!
You miss out on much, in every way, being single, especially in not having children.

But to each, his or her own.


by donjo
You can have children without being married, or even in a de facto relationship. It happens all the time. Having kids isn't for everyone, I love mine and am glad I have them, but plenty of people lead happy fulfilled lives without having kids. It kind of sucks how women in particular are pressured to have them if they don't want them. Best of luck to you, Bryony.
donjo - I hate kids and I don't like being around people much. Aside from my own flash and blood I couldn't bare sharing the same house as someone else. As an asexual, the very thought of intimacy is put off to me.

Thanks, Jennifer :)
Yes, Jennifer, but it's better to be married firstly, then have children, which is the intended way. Illegitimate children pay for that 'label' the rest of their lives, psychologically.
It is, in no way, an ideal situation for a child.
by donjo
Well Done You... Bryony!!! How refreshing your honesty is1 Many of my dearest friends are not at all fond of children,and they are also very happily single! I myself,far prefer the company of my beloved dogs to spending lots of time with people who can talk about nothing but their relationships and kids! You are a genuine success story and I am so pleased to know you have such contentment in the lifestyle which suits YOU! We are not here to make others happy or sad or whatever else those others might think is the case. We are all making our OWN Life Journey,and as long as we are honest,respectful and treat others with the dignity they deserve,then these journeys will be worthwhile. Enjoy each day and find things to make you smile....
by Jules
The whole intimacy thing can be a real deal breaker. Some people have no idea of personal space so I can understand your feelings, Bryony. I often tell Himself that we should live next door to each other in a duplex.
by Rice
donjo - there is no 'intended' way. It is just the fact that some religious people a long time ago decided that everyone had to be married for a relationship to be valid, worthy, or respectable. That is no longer the case. Many couples live together and build families without getting married. What is marriage but a piece of paper? The term 'illigitmate' is something very much of the past, in a time of kings and queens and Royal heirs.

Jules - thank you so much, what a lovely thing to say. It is a relief to when on the odd occasion someone comes along and applauds my lifestyle choice rather than criticises it.

Rice - Haha, yes living next door to your spouse rather in the same house could definitely have its advantages.
Only a person who's never been married, would call it 'a piece of paper'.
Very denigrating to the millions' of happily married couples' on this Planet.

As I said before though, Byrony, to each his or her own.

Personally, I'd much prefer to be married, than not.

by donjo
I am totally content being single!!! I discovered so many dreadful things about what my ex was doing during our marriage that it was a huge relief for me,(despite the normal feelings of having failed in the most important lifeplan I had ever undertaken up till then),to be able to live with young son without the disruptive and unpleasant truths which were starting to surface! I have never remarried or lived with any 'significant other' in the 22 years since the marriage breakdown. I love being by myself,and being alone certainly does NOT mean being lonely!! I have so many genuine interests as well as very special people in my life,and of course,I have my 3 beloved dogs who are such super company at all times! I would never consider living with a partner again,as I am too used to this content(some say Selfish!) lifestyle which has been a real blessing for me!
SO SORRY.....I have just noticed that this has come through TWICE! Not sure how,but it was not intentional!!
by Jules
Hahahahahahaha. Twice as much to say, huh?
by Rice
I don't understand why some people think wanting to live by oneself and without the responsibility of others makes you selfish. What I think is selfish is to enter a marriage and then not share an equal part of those responsibilities. Knowing that you don't want to take part in such a commitment and therefore not going down that path sounds like the very opposite of selfish, because you are not putting any burdens on others because of it. Good on you, Jules, and carry on being happy by being independent.
I am totally content being single!!! I discovered so many dreadful things about what my ex was doing during our marriage that it was a huge relief for me,(despite the normal feelings of having failed in the most important lifeplan I had ever undertaken up till then),to be able to live with young son without the disruptive and unpleasant truths which were starting to surface! I have never remarried or lived with any 'significant other' in the 22 years since the marriage breakdown. I love being by myself,and being alone certainly does NOT mean being lonely!! I have so many genuine interests as well as very special people in my life,and of course,I have my 3 beloved dogs who are such super company at all times! I would never consider living with a partner again,as I am too used to this content(some say Selfish!) lifestyle which has been a real blessing for me!
Oh! Jules, it isn't selfish at all!
When one is forced into 'singledom', what's to do? Nothing! Except get on with one's life as best as possible.
It's a really dreadful situation, & one that is SO unexpected, that it rips your entire being to shreds, & it just takes so much effort to try & keep on with just living, day to day.
But, with time, positives do eventuate, which is such a blessing.

Keep strong!
by donjo
I DID not, and DO not find it ANY effort at all to keep on living happily day to day without a partner!!! I am so content and have been so for the 20 years I have no longer been married. It was an enormous relief to just live with my son and watch him grow from a small boy into a very responsible young man. For me It's never been an EFFORT, it's LIFE!!! It was an effort trying to keep a marriage together when I had no idea why things were not similar to the very good marriages my parents,as well as my ex's parents had,even with their problems!!!Knowing the way that my ex had been raised,in a very similar fashion to myself,by parents who also had the same positive ideals as my own parents, is what made the breakdown of the relationship even more baffling. I had never changed my own way of living life,with honesty and respect being foremost. So when there was just me ,my son and the dogs,I was INSTANTLY more content,relaxed and able to get on with life once again.
Everyone is so different and if it suits us best being in a relationship,that is just wonderful.In MY case though,I am far more suited to living without a partner!!
by Jules
I am totally content being single!!! I discovered so many dreadful things about what my ex was doing during our marriage that it was a huge relief for me,(despite the normal feelings of having failed in the most important lifeplan I had ever undertaken up till then),to be able to live with young son without the disruptive and unpleasant truths which were starting to surface! I have never remarried or lived with any 'significant other' in the 22 years since the marriage breakdown. I love being by myself,and being alone certainly does NOT mean being lonely!! I have so many genuine interests as well as very special people in my life,and of course,I have my 3 beloved dogs who are such super company at all times! I would never consider living with a partner again,as I am too used to this content(some say Selfish!) lifestyle which has been a real blessing for me!
BRAVO*
by Rice
And now the other side....I have been by myself for sometime now and have got used to it but would prefer to be with someone. May be not full time as I have got used to my own space.
Back in 1993 when I first divorced I took over a singles club and have set up various others in each country I lived in. The latest is here on the Central Coast. first group has been going for 5+ Years 40-60 age and a second has just started 60+.age. There are so many lonely and sad people not all looking for partners some just to interact with other singles.
I AM CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR ....a 40-60 year old to take over the running of the younger group. There is no registration and no fees. Do contact me if you are interested to come along.
Some of us have no choice in the matter. I'm happy (to a point), but only because the other choice is not 'healthy'.
Love living alone. Separated 17 years ago, children moved out about 10 years ago. Would have to be a very special lady to give up my current lifestyle. And others are right, it is a selfish type of life, but at my age I deserve to be a little selfish now. :)
Steer clear, my dear. Every woman who gets close to my brother wants to move in! Keep your own space and I wish you all the best :-)
by Rice
I prefer to be on my own as you're your own master. Yes, it can be lonely if you let it be, but there are so many things you can do to fill in your time.
I could find some comforts in being alone but I would much rather not be.
Having grown up with a very violent and abusive father. I psychological ly picked men with the same traits. Its no good for children to witness abusive behavior and to suffer all for a father figure. I have two beautiful grown up children and my first grandchild due in September. I broke the violence cycle as my beautiful mum also came from an abusive background. I have friends in the same situation and we support each other. I have become selfish and am never lonely. I love being my own boss.
I've been both and it really depends on your mind set and outlook on life. There are pros and cons for either state....neither is perfect.
I love being single. Have done the marriage thing twice, had my kids etc. I am glad I had the experience of marriage but now I enjoy doing my own thing. I have plenty of friends and relatives. I also have unconditional love from my dog and affection from my cat when he chooses! I am not lonely. I think I actually need quite a lot of time on my own at this point in my life.

I have become selfish and love having time to write. When I go out taking photos I can take my time without worrying that 'my other half' is bored. I can choose who to be friends with. I don't have to explain or justify myself. Ah, life is good!
Probably, but I don't want to try it out.
Yes. I am quite sure I could. I did marriage for over 30 years and I was the leaver, so if I had to, I could. I have no grandchildren of my own to annoy me so that would be a plus if I was alone again in the future. Lord, how I hate being put upon to childmind. I don't like kids either, Bryony :-)
by Rice
Oh! Rice, can you just say 'no' to those who ask you to mind children?
by donjo
They are his grandchildren, not mine . . . it is a bone of contention :(((
by Rice
An interesting thing to think about, in some ways, but not others. I have been with my husband for over thirty years, and I can't see our marriage breaking up after all these years of becoming used to each other. I'm aware of life's realities though, my husband is 8 years older than me, and his health isn't as good as mine in some ways, so... I have an active life away from home though with volunteer/writing related things, and they would continue with or without my husband.
My husband is my carer though and does most of the housework, so I'd need to think about care of some sort if he was gone.
I forgot to mention the fact that we have four dogs, so even if I'm the only human in the house, I'm never alone...

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