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Do people still get married, or is living together enough these days?

by Sarah Bell (follow)
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Is marriage still important, or are defacto relationships the same thing?

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I think the benefit of marriage comes when you face problems down the line. If you are married, divorced is a difficult process, so you are more likely to work to keep the relationship going. If you are not married, you can just get up and leave without much of a second thought.

If you are religious, then marriage still holds weight because the ceremony is about the union being accepted by your god, but if you are atheist, I do not think there is that much significance to it, other than to have a grand day to remember.

Weddings are very expensive too, and I don't think anyone really needs a piece of paper to say 'I love you'.
From what I can tell, there has been a steady decline in getting married.
All around the world, young people are travelling...and living together.
Getting on with their lives, and marriage is on the back-burner.
My eldest son just turned 37.... and is not even engaged.
Well really, he hasn't even got a girlfriend....say's he is too busy working.
Money seems to be the driving force now, marriage is off to one side.
Saving for a home, is number one with some young people, before they even find a that partner.
Unmarrieds beware! Although those who live together are treated similarly by the law I have had to fight, and hard, to maintain my place in my love's life. He is now very ill and no longer able to manage the behaviour of his daughters and one evil sister and brother-in-law. After I cared for him for six years these people tried to make me leave his life without even an opportunity to say goodbye. At my lowest point, when I was exhausted and depressed from the behaviours caused by his illness, and with my own serious health issue also, they attacked and were able to, for a time, influence almost an entire medical staff and the remainder of the family to join with them. I am so grateful that I am still alive and still by his side. If the love of my life and I had been married, I believe the medical staff and the rest of the family would have had more respect for me and our relationship. They would not have responded with such gullibility. Unfortunately, his first marriage, to the mother of these girls was such a dreadful experience. He stayed for 20 years for their benefit and yet they wish to deprive him of the love he now shares with me, in this last stage of his life.
When it comes to marriage, my thoughts might be orthodox or traditional. But I feel marriage gives a sense of security, sense of belonging. People should learn to take responsibilities. Since divorce is messy, married couples take more efforts to make the marriage work and not just get up and leave if there are no commitments. After all its people we are talking about and not things to use and throw when new model comes in the market!
I'd like to try living together first to rule out the person's liveable qualities and further understand what makes them tick.

I still value marriage in the traditional sense of not seeing your future husband the day before.
I think more and more people just live together. There are less headaches if you decide to split up.
I think more and more people just live together. There are less headaches if you decide to split up.
Some people still do, some don't. After a certain period of time people who live together are common law married.

Some people still consider marriage important for religious reasons. Others just consider it a mutual decision to spend their lives together, in which case a ceremony isn't really necessary. I got married even though I'm not religious. For me I wanted a wedding so we could declare our love and our intentions in front of all the people we care about most. That and the big frock. We made it legal because we figured it would simplify paperwork down the track.

I doubt the institution of marriage will die out any time soon. My friends still seem to be getting married.
More people are living together without the strings attached so to speak. Divorce is messy - would not want to go through that, and I don't want to be a widow again. Not being negative but realistic...don't 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce? Noting lasts forever.
Who would have thought the answers would be so varied! I think for some people it depends on if they're planning to have kids or not. If you have kids, a split is going to be messy whether you're married or not. If you're not planning on having kids, then I guess there isn't much of a reason to marry unless you want the special day, and if you're saving for a house a wedding can be a big dent in savings.
There you go, I would have thought there had been a swing to more people getting married again, but apparently not! As for the mess - the split up in de facto is equally mess once kids come into play (ditto with pre-nups, all out the window if signed prior to kids and kids come along)
I think for me marriage is important due to religious and cultural reasons. Any relationship whether it is a de facto or a marriage will have ups and downs, and it is important to be committed, otherwise breakups will ensue, which are never good for the people involved and for society as a whole.
Nowadays I think it's a good idea for people to live together first. I'm talking about 1 -2 years. By then, people should know if they want to get married. I think marriage is especially necessary if children are involved. They will feel more secure in their parent's relationship. I have come across many people who say it is 'just a piece of paper'. If that's all it is, then why not do it? Maybe because it means more commitment after all? Even if you are not religious, a ceremony to declare your love to the world is nice for the experience and memories. Also 'mmmar' commenter makes a good point. If they were married, there'd be no issue with the medical staff.
Absolutely! Just look at all of the massive weddings that happen now. The average cost of weddings these days is somewhere around $50,000!

Young people still want to make that commitment and I think that's a good thing.
I've never been married and never really missed it. I have a very short attention span with men. However both of my girls are married to men they lived with for a couple of years.
People are still getting married but they live together first. There seems to be less commitment though as the rate of divorce is very high.
by Gia
The research shows that the longer people cohabit before marrying, and the higher the number of sexual partners before marriage, the more likely and sooner the marriage is to end in divorce.

Marriage was originally meant to signify the joining of two people into a life-long, consummated relationship creating a new family unit. It seldom lasts nowdays because we no longer look at it that way. It's all about "me" and what I can get out of it, and if the other party doesn't do their bit - "I'm outa here" - which is pretty much how a lot of people enter into defacto relationships, although most would never admit (or maybe not even consciously realise it?) and our society now endorses that.

Defacto relationships are not the same thing, unless they make the same life-long binding commitment at the very beginning, but then, that would be marriage, wouldn't it..... That's why it's called defacto - because it's not marriage.

98% of marriages nowdays start out as defacto relationships, which is probably why most of them don't last - because the wedding day is really just a big expensive party and a couple of rings, with the idea that somehow everything will be different the day after the wedding, but the next morning couple returns to the same house and life they've been living as defacto up to that point.
by kimp
I find marriage to be old news, but it's still lovely. I just don't think that people should feel as though that have to be married.
Marriage is essentially a religious sanction and I believe people are becoming less religious, therefore marriage may also be on the decline. Living together is enough I believe.
Those who aren't married, & have children, are giving those children illegitimate status. That's a stigma those children will carry with them for the rest of their lives, even if their 'producers' get married, & adopt them.

So many couples' 'live together' now pretending to be married. It's a joke. If they DO get married, majority of these 'types' of marriages don't last. There's a difference in thinking, between the two. The first can just 'go', the second 'has to work at it'.

There's 'status' to being married, too. And it'll be many a long year before that changes. It's amazing when out shopping, at functions etc., the number of WOMEN who look immediately to another woman's 4th finger, left hand! If there're rings there, the 'look', by observing female, is changed to 'approving'. Judgemental, somewhat?

Marriage, per se, will not stop. There're always going to be persons' with morals, character, & religious beliefs, who will commit to each formally.
As well as that, people do 'need' the ceremony, & the reception. These serve to confirm to ALL, that the couple is 'doing the right thing' in EVERY way!

Besides, if it stopped, there'd be a WHOLE industry unemployed!
Marriage is a religious thing so if you are not religious it doesn't matter. However there are some legal benefits to being married. I personally like the idea of being able to say this is my wife rather than this is my girlfriend.
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