Is it time for the child to leave home? This is the question that all parents have to consider at some point.
Admittedly, old habits die hard. Some people are simply too used to taking care of their children that they have a hard time letting go. But sooner or later, parents will come to realise that their baby is growing into adulthood and needs to move out of the nest.
What do you think? When should you tell your child to move out? And how should you do that?
If you notice, more and more kids are living at home even after graduating from college. While this might be for financial reasons, such as the need to save money, another reason is the parents' pampering. Admit it, who would wants to move out when they can stay home and have their laundry done and meals cooked by dear mother? Moving out alone would mean a huge step down in their living standards. Besides, living with parents means they have a safety net ready to bail themselves out whenever they get in trouble.
I certainly won't be doing their washing for them at that age and I'd expect them to be pitching in with some of the cooking too. However, it really is very hard to afford a place to live with the rental market the way it is at the moment so I don't blame young people for staying with their parents a bit longer. Who knows what it will be like by the time my kids are that age.
My kids are learning right from the start that they can and should help (to their level of ability) around the house. As soon as they are old enough I'm planning to teach them how to use the washing machine so they can learn life skills. There's no way I'll be doing laundry for a 25 year old!
Who says they have to move out at all? I would think it depends upon the family, their culture, their needs, whatever is right for them.
It wasn't that long ago, was it, that generations of families lived under the same roof? Does it mean that if we see most people moving their kids out of home when they reach their 20's that we all have to do it? I don't believe so.
I have a 20 yr old son living at home. He is planning to go to Uni next year. He might stay at home because it is cheaper. He might make friends and move out in a shared house arrangement. It's up to him.
I wouldn't mind if he stayed here, even if he married and had a child and still wanted to stay here. But that also is because we have a house big enough, that it is almost like living in a separate apartment. I wouldn't want to be that close if we were in a small house and our son had a bedroom only and shared a bathroom with us. So, I guess it depends on context and amenities too!
My son does his own washing, his own cooking, cleans his own area of the house, and "sometimes" helps out with whole of household chores. He pays a nominal rent. We get on really well. So I don't see any reason why he would have to move out just because of his age. As long as he matures, thinks independently, can fend for himself, and is able to share, then I don't see a problem with it. Equally, if he wants to move out, I don't have a problem with that either. I'll be happy to help him set up home with a few odds and ends from the kitchen, can take his own bed etc. And if finances worked out such that he needed to return home for a while, I'd be okay with that too. We will do what works for us, what is right for us, what suits us. I don't care what the neighbours think.
At this stage in my life I can't imagine having to do it, as junior is only 12 years old, but I have to admit I am dreading the time when he will fly the coop. I hope he will make the decision himself when he is ready.
I was very lucky with my two eldest boys, now in their 30's...they moved out around 17.Then moved in with each other in a flat to share the rent.
My youngest is 14 years younger....so whole different ball game.
Now at 21, it looks like this one will Not be leaving home any time soon.
In fact! this is quite different times, they say in Italy young men and some in their 30's are not even getting married!!!
Too use to 'Mamma's cooking-and loving'', but Italian mothers are a tad more
I hope my last son, will move out say by 25-26.
I hope he finds a partner, gets married or travels....what ever, but gets a life!
I have now had a child home on-going for 37 years.
I think I that's a long time, but I did start having another child, when the other two were nearly out the house?
I do not believe in pushing them out, and if they stay, as my youngest is....they must pay for some rent...electricity...and food.
NO free rides once your 18 and onwards, not in my house anyway. LOL
It depends a bit on the child and their behaviour and maturity. Some kids are ready earlier than others, and some get on with their parents better than others.I would hope that my kids would move out on their own when they're ready without my needing to ask them to. I suppose if they're still there at 25 I might sugest they find their own place, assuming they're healthy and able to suport themselves.
It depends on how financially able the child is to cope on their own. My older sibling is in her late 30's and is living at home for financial and relationship reasons. I moved out at 18. However, last year I was living with my family again due to a re-location while I was waiting for my house to settle.
my son 20, still lives with me and his girlfriend. They can't afford to live elsewhere and have a child which was a surprise at the time! They are both working but child care fees are high and son is paying off a car. They pay for food and I pay house expenses, and they help with cooking as I have back problems and can't stand for long. It all works out, but I hope one day they save enough to get their own place as they need more privacy. On the plus sideI love having my grandchild under the same roof.
My parents didn't (and still don't) want my siblings and I to move out. If/when I have kids though, I'd like them to move out during Uni days so that they can learn to juggle their school work with casual jobs and managing rent (aka preparing for the Real world).
Both of our girls moved out when THEY were ready to move out. The eldest at 18, because her best friend was moving to the ACT so she was going with her.The 2nd daughter, who was 3 years & 4 months younger, moved out at aged 21 or 22. Neither have come home again, & they're now both living in Melbourne, but not in the same suburb.
I wouldn't tell my son to move out, not yet anyway he is still too young and doesn't know which path to take yet, maybe in his 30's I really don't know it depends a lot on the circumstances, yes I do expect my son to be indipendant.